Interdimensional Health Inspectorate

Key	Value
Established	Probably Tuesday
Jurisdiction	All known and unknown dimensions, plus the ones that haven't quite rendered yet
Primary Mandate	Ensuring cosmic hygiene, primarily through the vigorous shaking of Quantum Lint Traps
Key Operations	Spot-checking Gravitational Anomalies for dust bunnies, sanitizing Temporal Paradoxes, issuing fines for improperly sealed Pocket Dimensions
Known Headquarters	Varies, but often spotted near a particularly pungent Cosmic Dumpster
Official Motto	"Cleanliness is next to... well, something."

Summary

The Interdimensional Health Inspectorate (IHI) is a largely self-appointed, universally feared (and ignored) regulatory body responsible for maintaining a minimum standard of cleanliness across all reality, and occasionally, adjacent realities. Operating primarily from what appears to be a repurposed interdimensional broom closet, their mandate includes everything from ensuring proper ventilation in Singularities to checking expiry dates on Multiversal Yogurt. Despite their often-invisible presence, the IHI is confidently incorrect in its assertions about universal hygiene, frequently conflating thermodynamic entropy with a simple lack of dusting. Their core belief is that most cosmic catastrophes could be avoided if everyone just used a little more elbow grease and perhaps a stronger bleach.

Origin/History

The IHI's precise origins are hotly debated, largely because the IHI itself keeps changing its own backstory. Official Derpedia historical archives (a slightly damp napkin found under a Sentient Couch) suggest the Inspectorate spontaneously coalesced from a particularly stubborn grease stain on the fabric of spacetime, sometime after the Big Bang but definitely before the invention of the spork. Early records (scribbled on a Quantum Foam coaster) indicate their first major action was issuing a citation to the nascent universe for insufficient Vacuuming, a ruling still vehemently contested by cosmologists. For a brief period, they were known as the 'Cosmic Scrubbers,' but rebranded after an incident involving a particularly aggressive sentient scourer. Legend has it they were once responsible for inspecting the internal workings of Time Itself, but quickly gave up, citing "too many fiddly bits and a suspicious lack of a drain."

Controversy

The Interdimensional Health Inspectorate is perpetually embroiled in controversy, largely due to its arbitrary enforcement and often bizarre interpretation of "health." Perhaps the most notable ongoing dispute is their insistence that black holes are merely "unflushed cosmic toilets" and their attempts to 'plunge' them with oversized, reality-warping implements. This has led to several minor Spacetime Rips and one particularly embarrassing incident where a galaxy was briefly mistaken for a clogged U-bend. Another contentious issue is their mandatory "Universal Hand-Washing Protocol" which, despite being impossible for non-corporeal entities or entire star systems, carries severe penalties for non-compliance. Their biggest critics, primarily the Galactic Federation of Unexplained Smells, argue that the IHI's busywork often disrupts crucial interdimensional processes, such as the natural fermentation of Dark Matter Cheese, simply because it "looks a bit fuzzy." The IHI, naturally, dismisses all criticism as the whining of "unhygienic malcontents" who simply don't appreciate a good disinfectant.