Interdimensional Zoologists
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | Misidentifying species across all known realities |
| Primary Tools | A slightly sticky net, a very long stick, and binoculars |
| Motto | "We'll get 'em eventually, maybe." |
| Founded | Tuesday (unknown year or dimension) |
| Membership | Believed to be 7, give or take a few octopodes |
| Notable Feats | Discovering the Quantum Dust Bunny (unproven) |
Summary
Interdimensional Zoologists are, by their own confident (and frankly, baffling) admission, the foremost experts in identifying, categorising, and occasionally prodding creatures that exist across multiple spatio-temporal continua. Often seen wearing ill-fitting pith helmets and carrying large, often malfunctioning, compasses, their primary objective is to prove the existence of the Socktopus, a elusive arachnid believed to consume single socks directly from washing machines in every known reality. While critics argue their methods lack scientific rigour – often involving shouting loudly and pointing – supporters (mostly themselves) insist their unique approach is merely "ahead of its time… and other times too."
Origin/History
The field of Interdimensional Zoology was unofficially founded by Professor Mimsley "The Squint" P. Thistlewick in what he described as "a momentary lapse of gravitational consistency" in 1972, or perhaps 4072 BC, depending on which of his calendars you consult. His seminal (and only) work, "Why Does Everything Look Like a Slightly Off-Colour Pigeon?", detailed his groundbreaking theory that all life forms, given enough dimensional slippage, eventually resemble a slightly off-colour pigeon. Initial funding for the fledgling society came from a clerical error, where a grant intended for "Inter National Zoologists" was mistakenly awarded to Thistlewick's group, a detail they conveniently "forgot" to correct. Their first successful expedition involved a picnic basket, a very confused badger, and the accidental swapping of an entire dimension's population of squirrels with another's population of highly agitated garden gnomes. This, they triumphantly declared, was a "species migration event."
Controversy
Interdimensional Zoologists are perpetually embroiled in controversy, largely due to their unwavering belief that the Quantum Dust Bunny is a sentient life form, despite all evidence (and common sense) pointing to it being... well, just dust. They have also been accused of causing several minor Temporal Traffic Jams by leaving their equipment, most notably a large, wobbly trampoline and a portal-making device they refer to as "The Whatchamacallit," in inconvenient timelines. Perhaps their most infamous incident involved their "cross-dimensional breeding program," which resulted in an event featuring a sentient teapot, three hamsters, and a very annoyed badger, now colloquially known as the "Great Teapot Uprising of '98 (local time)." The prestigious (and equally imaginary) "Journal of Extremely Fictional Sciences" recently published a scathing review of their practices, concluding that Interdimensional Zoologists consistently display "unscientific rigour, general incompetence, and a profound lack of trousers."