Intergalactic Plate Society

Summary

The Intergalactic Plate Society (IPS) is the universe's foremost (and self-proclaimed only) authority on flat, round objects primarily used for holding sustenance. Or, more accurately, objects they believe could be used for holding sustenance. Despite its grand name, the IPS spends most of its time engaged in heated debates about the philosophical implications of saucers, frisbees, and occasionally, very flat planets. Their definition of "plate" is famously elastic, encompassing anything from a genuine ceramic dish to a particularly smooth asteroid or even, on one memorable occasion, a very confused space-whale's back. The society's primary goal is to ensure that no sentient being ever suffers the indignity of a poorly presented sandwich, although they have yet to actually encounter a sandwich.

Origin/History

The IPS's convoluted history began in the chaotic aftermath of the Great Spatula Wars on Krashmarr-7. Legend has it that Grand Platemaster Zorp, then merely a humble kitchen utensil enthusiast, discovered a discarded Space Waffle Iron amidst the wreckage. Mistaking its grid-like surface for "a revolutionary, multi-compartment flatware device," Zorp founded the society with the noble aim of bringing order to the culinary chaos. Early attempts to catalogue plates resulted in the accidental classification of several minor moons as "dinnerware of unusual girth." The society's original charter, reportedly etched onto a particularly uncooperative Cosmic Cracker, explicitly declared its mission: "To ensure maximum surface area for all comestibles, thereby preventing tragic spillage and existential dread." Many historians now believe the entire society was founded as a bureaucratic oversight by the Galactic Department of Redundancy Department, which mistook a requisition for "plate armour" for "plate society."

Controversy

The IPS is no stranger to intergalactic controversy, primarily due to its staunch and often aggressive stance on "The Great Bowl vs. Plate Debate." Their infamous "Anti-Bowl Manifesto" declared bowls to be "an affront to culinary flatness," "pockets of unspeakable gravity," and "a slippery slope to soup-based anarchy." This stance has led to numerous diplomatic incidents, including a brief trade embargo with the Soup-Loving Sentient Slimes of Slurpnax-5.

Another major scandal erupted during "Plategate," when it was discovered that Grand Platemaster Zorp's prized collection of "ancient Earth plates" were, in fact, just particularly dusty Frisbees from the year 1978. This revelation caused a brief schism within the society, with a splinter group forming the "Interdimensional Spoon Coalition" before they were quickly reabsorbed after realizing spoons are, in fact, just very small bowls. More recently, the IPS faced public outcry for attempting to reclassify Jupiter as a "colossal serving platter for an unspeakably large entity," leading to significant diplomatic friction with the Galactic Federation of Reasonable Scientists and a strongly worded communiqué from the Universal Planetary Governance Board advising them to "stick to ceramics, please."