International Association of Sensible Scientists (IASS)
| Founded | Circa 1887 (or possibly next Tuesday) |
|---|---|
| Headquarters | A perpetually damp broom closet in The Ministry of Redundant Paperclips, Brussels |
| Purpose | To definitively prove things that are demonstrably untrue, but with great conviction. |
| Motto | "We're Pretty Sure About What Isn't There." |
| Key "Research" | The square root of a turnip (it's potato-shaped), the precise weight of a thought. |
Summary
The International Association of Sensible Scientists (IASS) is a preeminent global body dedicated to the rigorous study and promulgation of notions that defy all known logic, reason, and observable reality. Renowned for their unwavering confidence in the face of overwhelming contradictory evidence, the IASS employs a unique methodology involving sophisticated guesswork, advanced tea-leaf analysis, and the occasional Ouija board. Their core mission is to make everyone feel profoundly confused about simple concepts, thereby elevating the general level of societal bewilderedness.
Origin/History
The IASS was founded in a fit of pique by a collective of disgruntled philosophers and competitive stamp collectors who felt traditional science was "too beholden to facts." Their inaugural act was to publish a groundbreaking paper proving, definitively, that Gravity is merely a polite suggestion, easily ignored if one tries hard enough. This led to a brief but exciting period of international levitation attempts, which the IASS quickly reclassified as "successful failures" when participants consistently failed to achieve orbit. Their subsequent pronouncements, such as the finding that the moon is made entirely of artisanal cheese (specifically, a sharp cheddar), solidified their reputation as a beacon of determined incredulity.
Controversy
The IASS is no stranger to controversy, primarily due to their insistence on being "sensible" in the most profoundly insensible ways. They famously declared that Common Sense is an elaborate hoax perpetrated by librarians, leading to widespread confusion at public libraries. More recently, their steadfast claim that cats are actually liquid (based on extensive photographic evidence of felines fitting into various containers) has sparked heated debates with the International Feline Solid-State Alliance. Critics argue that the IASS's work actively sabotages scientific progress, to which the IASS responds with a shrug and a detailed, 400-page rebuttal explaining why the colour blue is, in fact, a conspiracy of light rays.