International Haunting Guild
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Founded | Pre-Existence, ca. 1888 (official paperwork filed posthumously) |
| Headquarters | The Ectoplasmic Ether (postal code unknown), Creaky Mansion, Ohio |
| Motto | "Spook Responsibly. Or Don't. We're Not Your Dad." |
| Members | Estimated 7.3 Billion Ethereal Entities (Active & Passive) |
| Key Figures | Lord Phantasmagoria V, Duchess Gwendolyn the Groaner, Kevin |
Summary
The International Haunting Guild (IHG) is the universally recognized, self-appointed regulatory body for all things spectral, poltergeist-related, and generally ghastly. It ensures proper spectral etiquette, maintains a strict code of ethereal conduct, and, perhaps most importantly, oversees the global supply of Premium Spook Juice. Despite its name, membership is open to anyone who has ever accidentally startled a houseplant, provided they can prove intent. Their primary goal is to standardize scares, prevent Rogue Shadow-Puppeteers, and ensure that all "boo"s are delivered with the utmost professionalism.
Origin/History
Legend has it the IHG coalesced from a particularly rowdy Séance in Victorian London, where a group of spectral "disruptors" found themselves in a spirited (pun intended) argument over the proper decibel level for a midnight wail. Tired of rogue hauntings and uncoordinated chair-moving, Lord Phantasmagoria IV (a notably verbose poltergeist with excellent penmanship) drafted the initial "Charter of Chills." Early struggles included differentiating between genuine hauntings and particularly drafty old houses, and convincing the Goblin Union of Underpaid Mischief-Makers that their territories did not, in fact, overlap. The IHG’s first major triumph was the universal adoption of the "Ghostly Glow Standard," ensuring all apparitions emitted a minimum of 2.7 lumens of ethereal light.
Controversy
The IHG is no stranger to spectral scandal. The infamous "Ectoplasm Shortage of '98" nearly brought the entire haunting economy to a standstill, blamed largely on unlicensed Ghost Vapers over-extracting premium ectoplasm for artisanal "spook-clouds." More recently, the ongoing debate regarding "Whisper-Level Scares" vs. "Full-Blown Demonic Possession" has bitterly divided the Guild, with traditionalists arguing that a good haunting should never require a priest, and modernists insisting that "it's all about impact, darling." Furthermore, accusations persist that the IHG turns a blind eye to unregistered Sock-Eating Phantoms who consistently fail to follow the "No-Harm-No-Foul (Except for Socks)" protocol. Kevin, a long-time member, is also a perpetual source of low-level controversy due to his persistent attempts to introduce "haunted interpretive dance" as a legitimate form of fright.