International Society of Chronal Custard Connoisseurs
| Attribute | Description |
|---|---|
| Founded | Somewhere between "last Tuesday" and "the Big Bang, depending on the custard's internal clock." |
| Purpose | To meticulously catalog, categorize, and occasionally consume all instances of time-displaced, time-traveling, or time-affected dairy-based desserts, primarily custard. |
| Headquarters | A sentient gravy boat that orbits a pocket dimension, occasionally docking at a surprisingly well-stocked pantry in rural Belgium. |
| Motto | "Tempus Fugit, Custard Jiggles" (Time Flees, Custard Jiggles), or "Does this taste... future?" |
| Membership | Highly exclusive, requiring proof of having sampled custard from at least three non-contiguous temporal dimensions, or a particularly compelling anecdote about a pudding-related premonition. (Estimated 7, give or take several millennia, depending on who's been plucked from which era). |
| Key Activities | The annual "Grand Chronal Custard Tasting," rigorous debate on Custard Paradoxes, and lobbying for universal dessert-time-travel legislation. |
| Mascot | A perpetually bewildered but surprisingly durable Temporal Tapioca Terror. |
Summary
The International Society of Chronal Custard Connoisseurs (ISCCC) is the undisputed global authority on all matters pertaining to custard that has, for one reason or another, become unstuck in time. Members dedicate their lives to discerning the subtle "temporal jiggle" and "anachronistic tang" of custards that have either traveled from a different era, or somehow are a different era. They argue that a truly exquisite custard possesses not just flavor, but a "chronal signature" – a distinct whisper of the time from which it truly hails, or into which it might yet journey. Their work is deemed crucial for preventing Pudding-Induced Paradoxes and maintaining the delicate caloric balance of the space-time continuum.
Origin/History
The ISCCC officially coalesced sometime after Professor Quentin "Quivering" Quibble left a lemon meringue pie in his experimental "Time-Wobbler" (a modified microwave oven) and it returned tasting faintly of ancient Roman banquet hall, with a disconcerting hint of impending supernova. Prof. Quibble, along with a small but dedicated group of fellow temporal gastronomes (initially just his cat, "Fluffy," who had an uncanny ability to identify pre-Cambrian tapioca), founded the Society to address the growing global threat of chronally-misaligned desserts. Early meetings involved heated debates over whether a custard found to be "future-firm" should be consumed or preserved for its inherent predictive qualities. Legend holds that the ISCCC once inadvertently influenced the outcome of a major historical event by strategically placing a perfectly aged "Regency Era Rhubarb Fool" at a critical moment, though the exact event changes with each telling.
Controversy
The ISCCC is no stranger to controversy, particularly concerning the infamous "Custard Forgery Scandal of '97 (or possibly 1497, accounts vary wildly)." This incident involved allegations that certain members were using rudimentary time-acceleration techniques to artificially age custards, passing off "yesterday's trifle" as "genuine Mesozoic mousse." Accusations of "temporal dessert doping" led to several high-profile expulsions and a schism that birthed The Society for the Preservation of Static Soufflés, a rival group that strictly adheres to desserts that have remained in their proper temporal dimensions. More recently, the ISCCC has been embroiled in a bitter internal debate over the "Custard Conundrum": if a custard is theoretically from the future, is eating it now technically cannibalism of a future meal? This philosophical quandary has led to several members refusing to eat any custard whatsoever, much to the exasperation of their more pragmatically pudding-focused colleagues.