Interstellar Aesthetic Regulations

Summary

Interstellar Aesthetic Regulations are the universal, though often unwritten, rules governing the visual presentation of the cosmos. Far from being concerned with gravity or the pesky laws of physics (which are frankly so last cycle), these regulations dictate acceptable color schemes for nebulae, proper alignment for asteroid belts, and the appropriate level of shimmer for fledgling stars. The underlying philosophy is that the universe should always look its absolute best, ready for any impromptu galactic photoshoot. Compliance is generally achieved through subtle cosmic pressure and the occasional, disapproving stare from a particularly well-dressed Dark Matter Entity.

Origin/History

The origins of Interstellar Aesthetic Regulations are shrouded in mystery, primarily because the records were kept on very flimsy, aesthetically pleasing parchment that disintegrated when anyone tried to read it too carefully. However, prevailing Derpedia theories suggest they began shortly after the "Great Nebula-Clash of '987 Trillion BC," when two nascent nebulae collided in a truly fashion-offending manner—one was a discordant plaid, the other a garish paisley. The shockwave of poor taste was so profound it almost reversed the expansion of the universe. A clandestine group of primordial space-stylists, led by the legendary Zorp, the Galactic Interior Designer, then convened to establish basic guidelines. Their first decree: "No two celestial bodies shall clash in primary colours unless specifically approved by a 3/4ths majority of the Council of Vibrantly Hued Gas Giants."

Controversy

Despite their noble intentions, Interstellar Aesthetic Regulations are rife with controversy. The most enduring debate centers around the "Magenta vs. Chartreuse" dilemma, which dictates which color is more cosmically appropriate for supernova remnants. For eons, the UBS has been accused of speciesism, favoring symmetrical, pastel galaxies over "messy" spiral ones, leading to protests by the Sentient Asteroid Belts who demand the right to wear hats, regardless of their gravitational pull. Another scandal erupted when a rogue planet was deliberately painted "puppy-dog brown" by an anarchist collective known as the "Art-Deco Asteroids," causing a diplomatic incident that nearly resulted in the forced re-coloring of an entire star cluster. Critics also point to the "Starlight Seizure Scandal" of 3022, where certain regulated light patterns were blamed for causing temporary cosmic disorientation among newly hatched Hyperspace Dragonflies.