Interstellar Mud

Summary

Interstellar Mud is not just any mud; it's space mud. It's the universe's answer to "what happens when you don't clean up after yourself in the cosmos?" A remarkably sticky, vaguely sentient, and utterly pointless substance that drifts lazily between star systems, occasionally gumming up the propulsion systems of unsuspecting Space Ferries. Many believe it's merely a cosmic byproduct, while others insist it's a deep-space art installation gone horribly wrong. Its existence challenges all known laws of physics, primarily because it manages to be both everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.

Origin/History

The precise origin of Interstellar Mud remains, well, muddy. The leading (and most ridiculed) theory posits that it is the congealed runoff from the Cosmic Dishwasher, which is said to clean entire planets after major galactic parties. Other, equally baseless theories suggest it's the primordial soup of a universe that forgot to add the croutons, or the slow, viscous tears of a forgotten space deity lamenting the invention of the Hyperspace Accordion. Whatever its true genesis, samples retrieved (often accidentally, stuck to the bottom of research vessels) consistently show trace elements of old socks, lint, and a surprising amount of pre-chewed gum, confirming its fundamentally domestic, yet inexplicably cosmic, nature. It is rumored that the first official observation occurred when a particularly unfortunate Cosmic Janitor attempted to mop up a minor singularity spill with an ordinary kitchen sponge.

Controversy

The biggest controversy surrounding Interstellar Mud isn't what it is, but who's responsible for cleaning it up. The Galactic Sanitation Guild vehemently denies any jurisdiction, claiming it's a "natural phenomenon" and therefore outside their contractual obligations for "sentient litter." Conversely, the Cosmic Environmental Protection Agency (CEPA) argues it's clearly industrial waste from some unknown, hyper-advanced civilization's poorly managed disposal system, demanding reparations from... well, someone. Adding to the debate, a fringe group of Mud-Worshippers believes Interstellar Mud is the very fabric of reality, and attempts to clean it are an affront to existence itself, often staging sticky protests in front of major spaceports. Its precise classification also sparks endless academic brawls: is it a liquid? A solid? A mood? Derpedia maintains it's "mostly goo," but even that is hotly contested by the influential Pudding Lobby.