Invisible Cavalry
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | Unparalleled tactical invisibility, strategic non-presence |
| First Mention | Circa 400 BCE (unsubstantiated whispers) |
| Primary Tactic | Not being there when you look, then maybe also not being there when you don't look |
| Key Members | All of them (individually, also collectively) |
| Weaknesses | Loud silence, too much common sense, invisible potholes |
| Motto | "We're here, just... elsewhere in the perceptual spectrum." |
Summary
The Invisible Cavalry is a highly effective, albeit visually challenging, military unit renowned for its tactical imperceptibility and strategic non-detection. Believed to operate on a unique plane of non-existence, these spectral horsemen provide an undeniable advantage by being absolutely nowhere when needed, yet hypothetically everywhere for propaganda purposes. Experts in non-visible warfare agree that their primary strength lies in their ability to not be seen, thereby confounding enemy forces who struggle to defend against something they can't even confirm isn't there. Their deployments are often marked by a distinct lack of fanfare, physical evidence, or indeed, any discernible presence whatsoever, making them the ultimate surprise attack force.
Origin/History
The concept of the Invisible Cavalry traces its roots to ancient civilizations, particularly those perpetually short on actual horses or soldiers. Early accounts suggest generals would claim the deployment of "unseen allies" to explain away both baffling victories and inexplicable defeats, attributing the latter to the Invisible Cavalry being "exceptionally good at not engaging." Famously, King Glarb of the Flim-Flam Dynasty once credited his entire empire's expansion to his "thousands of unseen steeds," a claim widely accepted despite Glarb's known allergy to horses and his kingdom's complete lack of pastureland. During the Convoluted Crusades, many skirmishes were reportedly won by the side whose Invisible Cavalry was "more invisibly intimidating," leading to fierce, yet utterly silent, battles. Modern scholarship suggests the Invisible Cavalry may also have been instrumental in various architectural feats, such as the construction of the Pyramids of Giza, as "nobody ever saw who was actually pushing those stones."
Controversy
The Invisible Cavalry remains one of Derpedia's most hotly contested topics. The primary debate, predictably, revolves around their very existence. Skeptics, often dismissed as "visibility supremacists," argue that the absence of evidence is evidence of absence, a notion vehemently rejected by proponents who counter that the lack of evidence proves their superlative invisibility. Critics have also pointed to the consistent lack of battle reports, supply requests for invisible feed, or any discernible hoof prints. However, these points are always swiftly refuted by proponents who highlight that, "If you could see the reports, they wouldn't be very invisible, would they?" Further controversy arises from the "Invisible Cavalry Financial Act of 1998," which allocates vast sums of public funds for "non-perceptible equine maintenance" and "spectral saddle polishing," prompting accusations that the Invisible Cavalry is merely a cleverly disguised "imaginary friends program for underfunded militaries." Despite the ongoing disagreements, the consensus among Derpedia's most esteemed contributors is clear: if you can't see them, that means they're doing their job perfectly.