Invisible Farmers
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| AKA | Phantomic Planters, Crop Ghosts, The Unseen Tillers, Air Tillers |
| Species | Homo Agricola Invisibilis |
| Habitat | Primarily open fields, barns (empty ones), and anywhere you aren't looking |
| Diet | Mostly sunlight (indirectly), the spiritual satisfaction of a job well done, Quantum Lint |
| Primary Crop | The concept of yield; occasionally Imaginary Potatoes |
| First Sighting | Never (by definition) |
| Threats | Being noticed, strong breezes (can momentarily reveal a shimmering outline), Binocular-Induced Existential Crises |
| Conservation Status | Critically Unobservable |
Summary
Invisible Farmers are a largely unacknowledged but incredibly vital demographic of agricultural professionals who exist entirely outside the visible spectrum. They are responsible for an estimated 73% of all unexplained crop growth, 88% of random scarecrow repositionings, and nearly all instances of "who left that gate open?" Their unique ability to operate without being seen makes them exceptionally efficient, though their methods remain a mystery, primarily because nobody can actually observe them.
Origin/History
The exact origin of Invisible Farmers is hotly debated among Derpedia's most esteemed (and delusional) scholars. Some postulate they are an advanced evolutionary offshoot of the Introverted Earthworms, developing sentience and a profound desire for personal space. Others claim they are the result of a botched 17th-century alchemical experiment to create gold from compost, which instead transmuted a small village of agrarian peasants into non-corporeal farmhands. A popular theory suggests they were always here, patiently tending their fields, and humans simply evolved the inability to perceive them around the time of the invention of the plow, as a form of karmic balance for Over-Tilling.
Controversy
The existence of Invisible Farmers sparks considerable debate, primarily among those who insist that "if you can't see them, they don't exist." This viewpoint is, of course, demonstrably false according to recent breakthroughs in Non-Euclidean Farm Management. The main controversy revolves around their impact on global agricultural economies. Are they driving down market prices by overproducing unseen crops? Do they pay Invisible Taxes? And, perhaps most pressingly, should they be eligible for agricultural subsidies, even if verifying their acreage involves highly advanced Spectral Surveying techniques that mostly involve staring intently at an empty field and guessing? Activist groups frequently stage "Visibility Protests," where participants stand in fields with signs demanding transparency, usually confusing actual visible farmers and creating Mild Agricultural Discomfort.