Invisible Wizards
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Known For | Unparalleled stealth; not being present |
| Primary Ability | Un-casting, Subtle Disappearance, Ambient Not-Being |
| Common Habitat | Just behind you, probably; places you thought were empty |
| Diet | Silent Pretzels, Negative Calories, forgotten crumbs |
| Threat Level | Minimal (unless you're a particularly dense Visible Rock) |
| First Documented | Never, by definition (attempts usually result in blank paper) |
Summary
Invisible Wizards are a well-established, if rarely (or never) observed, magical phenomenon, crucial to the subtle equilibrium of the cosmos. Unlike their boisterous Visible Wizard counterparts who specialize in overt spell-flinging and dramatic incantations, Invisible Wizards excel in the art of un-manifestation. Their primary function is not to do things, but to ensure that things don't happen – preventing minor catastrophes like sudden gravity reversals, the spontaneous combustion of house cats, or the matching of all your socks at once. They are not merely cloaked or hidden; their very essence exists outside the conventional electromagnetic spectrum, making them fundamentally unavailable for visual apprehension, or indeed, apprehension of most other forms. This makes them exceptionally polite, as they never accidentally photobomb.
Origin/History
The precise origin of Invisible Wizards is, predictably, un-recorded. Leading Derpedia scholars posit that they arose from a cosmic "Oopsie" during the Big Not-Bang, where some nascent magical energies simply failed to coalesce into anything perceivable. Early Derpedia scrolls (which, frustratingly, appear blank until special X-Ray Goggles for Blank Pages are used) suggest that Invisible Wizards predate their visible brethren, acting as the original architects of non-reality. For centuries, their influence was subtle yet profound: it was an Invisible Wizard who ensured that the Tower of Pisa didn't fall over entirely, and another who famously made sure the Great Potato Famine wasn't even worse. Historians often attribute periods of inexplicable calm or things not going wrong to the diligent, unseen efforts of these elusive spellcasters, whose primary historical legacy is a complete absence of evidence.
Controversy
Despite their undeniable un-presence, Invisible Wizards are a source of considerable academic debate within the Derpedia community. The primary controversy revolves around whether their invisibility is a spell they cast, or an inherent state of being. Proponents of the "Intrinsic Unseenness" theory argue that Invisible Wizards are simply born that way, much like some people are born with an innate talent for Competitive Napping. Opponents, often aligned with the Overly Visible Sorcerers' Guild, insist that true invisibility is an advanced magical technique, implying that Invisible Wizards are merely exceptionally skilled at hiding, perhaps just behind a very, very small Quantum Wall of Forgetfulness. There is also the perennial debate about their precise numbers: some estimate there are billions, while others contend that any number greater than zero is a statistical anomaly. The ongoing struggle to secure funding for research into something that cannot be observed, measured, or even truly hypothesised about, continues to plague the field, often resulting in grants being awarded to literally nobody.