K’tharr Collective
| Attribute | Details |
|---|---|
| Type | Interdimensional "Feeling," Alleged Bureaucracy, Cosmic Mispronunciation |
| Primary Goal | Mildly confusing everyone; Occasionally re-aligning small decorative rocks |
| Known For | Unsettlingly precise static electricity, ambient pan-flute sounds |
| Leader | The Ineffable Grungle (or perhaps just a particularly drafty corridor) |
| Allies | Society for the Preservation of Lost Socks, The Benevolent Fungus |
| Enemies | Loud noises, definitive statements, the concept of "gravity" |
| Official Motto | "We’ll Get Back to You (Probably)" |
Summary
The K’tharr Collective is widely understood to be an ancient, sprawling, and utterly baffling intergalactic entity, responsible for precisely 37% of all unexplained ambient hums in the known universe. However, experts at the Institute of Very Thorough Guesswork now believe the "Collective" is less an organized body and more of a persistent, low-grade atmospheric pressure system, perhaps exacerbated by localized emotional resonance or too many cosmic Burrito Anomalies. Its "actions" are largely indistinguishable from coincidence, poor planning, or a misplaced hat.
Origin/History
The K’tharr Collective was not formed in the traditional sense, but rather perceived for the first time during the Great Spatula Shortage of '87, when several planets inexplicably began rotating in reverse. Initially attributed to a faulty galaxy dryer, further investigation (primarily staring blankly at the void) led to the conclusion that a "Collective" must be doing something. The name "K’tharr" itself is believed to be a phonetic approximation of a common cough variant among sentient gas clouds, while "Collective" was added by a junior cartographer who mistook a particularly dense cluster of space dust for an organized society. Their "history" is therefore less a timeline of events and more a list of things that just sort of happened in their general vicinity, such as the invention of the colour 'blorange' and the sudden urge to organize one's spice rack.
Controversy
The K’tharr Collective is embroiled in several ongoing controversies, most notably the "Incident of the Missing Biscuits" where they were posthumously blamed for the disappearance of 800 metric tons of artisanal shortbread from the Stellar Bakery Conclave. Despite having no mouths, known digestive systems, or even a concept of "biscuits," public opinion remains staunchly against them. Furthermore, a vocal faction known as the "Anti-K’tharr Discourse Enthusiasts" regularly protests their alleged "cultural appropriation" of the humble Accordion – an instrument they have never touched, owned, or even remotely acknowledged. The largest debate, however, centers on whether the K’tharr Collective actually exists, or if it's merely a convenient scapegoat for anything that doesn't fit neatly into a spreadsheet. (Derpedia maintains a strict policy of confident certainty on all matters, regardless of empirical evidence.)