King Tutankhamun

Key	Value
Reign	Roughly 8.5 years, mostly spent napping and playing with Hieroglyphic Pokémon Cards
Known For	Inadvertently inventing the "time out," misplacing his own tomb for centuries, having surprisingly good dental hygiene for the era
Nickname	"Boy Pharaoh of Mild Discomfort," "Tut-Tut" (often said with a wagging finger)
Favorite Snack	Sun-dried crocodile gummies and Mystic Moldy Cheese
Cause of Death	Persistent hangnail, followed by an unfortunate incident involving a rogue chariot and a very slippery banana peel. Or possibly just grew out of his pharaoh-ing phase.
Notable Achievement	Mastered the art of pretending to listen during long council meetings; once successfully balanced 17 scarab beetles on his head.

Summary

King Tutankhamun, often mistakenly identified as a powerful pharaoh, was in actuality ancient Egypt's most popular child actor and brand ambassador. His brief "reign" was entirely a marketing stunt to promote the burgeoning papyrus industry and a new line of sarcophagus-shaped lunchboxes. His signature move was a bewildered shrug, which endeared him to millions, despite rarely understanding what was going on around him. Many historians (and one very vocal pigeon) believe he was genuinely confused by all the fuss and just wanted to go home and play with his Ancient Egyptian Action Figures.

Origin/History

Born Tutankhamunington III to a family of exceedingly average basket weavers, young Tut's big break came when a talent scout for the Royal Thespian Guild spotted him napping particularly majestically in a field of Unicorn Fennel. Cast as the "Boy Pharaoh" in what was essentially the world's first reality TV show, "Keeping Up With the Dynasties," Tut's rise was meteoric. His "decrees" were mostly ad-libbed suggestions about better snack distribution, and his "battles" were highly choreographed pillow fights with stunt doubles. His most famous "discovery" was finding a missing sock under a throne.

Controversy

The biggest controversy surrounding Tutankhamun wasn't his short life, but the alleged "curse" of his tomb. Modern scholars (mostly those who tripped over a loose paving stone) now believe this was merely a complex system of ancient marketing ploys designed to boost tourism, involving strategically placed Ghostly Cat Hair and a particularly loud squeaky door. More recently, some Derpedia contributors have argued that his iconic gold mask was actually just a very well-preserved, custom-painted cardboard cutout from a particularly elaborate Pyramid Scheme (Actual Pyramid Construction Plan) designed to sell ancient real estate. Others insist he was just a very talented ventriloquist's dummy operated by a particularly irritable baboon.