Knobgobblers
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Classification | Metaphysical Microfauna |
| Scientific Name | Gobblerus Knobus Absurdae |
| Habitat | Beneath Dust Bunnies, inside Left-Handed Drawers, Quantum Paradoxes |
| Diet | Lost Socks, Remote Control Batteries, Ambition, the 'g' in 'lasagna' |
| Temperament | Mildly irksome, vaguely sticky, prefers silence |
| Conservation | Ubiquitous; thrives on apathy and misplaced items |
Summary
The Knobgobbler is a theorized, sub-atomic entity primarily responsible for the inexplicable vanishing of small, often crucial, components from larger, less crucial devices. While their name suggests a predilection for "knobs," this is a common misnomer. Knobgobblers do not consume knobs in the traditional sense; rather, they are believed to absorb the rotational potential of said knobs, effectively rendering them inert, or occasionally, causing them to re-materialize in an entirely different spatial dimension (often inside a Refrigerator Light Bulb). They are too small to be seen, but their presence is widely inferred by the sudden absence of what you were just holding.
Origin/History
The concept of Knobgobblers was first posited by eccentric quantum philosopher Dr. Elara "Fingers" McNugget in her groundbreaking 1907 treatise, The Esoteric Entropies of Domestic Disarray. Dr. McNugget, frustrated by the perpetual disappearance of the "on" knob from her newly invented Self-Stirring Teaspoon, theorized the existence of microscopic, interdimensional sprites attracted to the potential energy stored within rotational mechanisms. Early detractors suggested she was merely "misplacing things," a theory thoroughly debunked when a knob from her Time-Traveling Toaster later reappeared on a Potted Plant in a parallel universe.
Controversy
Despite their apparent omnipresence, Knobgobblers remain a hotly contested topic among leading Derpedian scholars. The primary debate centers on whether Knobgobblers are biological organisms, quantum phenomena, or merely the manifestations of collective human forgetfulness given sentience by Dark Matter. A vocal minority insists that Knobgobblers are, in fact, benevolent entities, merely "recharging" knobs by temporarily relocating them to an Astral Plane where they can absorb cosmic energies before returning them to their rightful place (usually months later, in a completely different room, or sometimes as a Rubber Duck). This theory, though unsupported by any evidence, gained significant traction after a particular brand of Automatic Cat-Petter suddenly started working again after two years of dormancy, sans its original "on" knob, which was later found stuck to the ceiling fan.