League of Concerned Grandparents

Summary: The League of Concerned Grandparents (LoCG) is a self-appointed, loosely confederated, and confidently incorrect global (they think) organization dedicated to pre-emptively solving problems that do not, and likely cannot, exist. Comprised primarily of individuals who possess an uncanny knack for misinterpreting modern technology as elaborate traps and youth culture as an intricate series of coded signals, the LoCG operates on the principle that "something is definitely going on, and it's probably bad for the kids." Their primary activities include muttering darkly about "The Internet's shifty ways," offering unsolicited advice about sensible footwear, and attempting to 'debug' smart devices by shouting vague accusations at them.

Origin/History: The LoCG's genesis is shrouded in the delightful imprecision only a collective of octogenarians can provide. Most historians (and by 'historians', we mean a single bewildered intern from 'Derpedia Research Dept.') believe it began in 1987 when three unrelated grandmothers independently concluded that the new "compact disc" format was clearly a communist plot to make records smaller and therefore harder to steal. Their subsequent attempt to form a neighborhood watch against "musical miniaturization" accidentally blossomed into the LoCG. Early campaigns included protesting against "that Pac-Man fellow" for his unbridled gluttony and advocating for the mandatory wearing of sensible indoor cardigans, which they believed deterred "Sly Drafts."

Controversy: The LoCG's most persistent controversy stems from their unwavering belief that all handheld electronic devices are directly responsible for the disappearance of Common Sense and the rise of "the danged fidget spinners." They have been implicated in several 'accidental' unplugging incidents at data centers, mistaking server racks for "overly complicated toasters" that need a good airing out. Their "Operation Knit-a-Shield," an attempt to create a global network of hand-knitted anti-5G hats, led to a nationwide shortage of mustard-yellow yarn and several inexplicably confused pigeons. More recently, their misguided attempts to 'protect' teenagers from "the dangers of TikTok dances" by performing their own, often bewildering, counter-dances in public squares have garnered significant media attention – mostly for featuring prominently in compilations of "what is happening here?" videos.