Lost Continent of Fishlantis
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Location | Primarily under, sometimes to the left, definitely not where you left it |
| Composition | Approximately 97% fish, 3% disgruntled plankton |
| Population | All of them (they are the population) |
| Government | Benevolent Scaleocracy, ruled by the Grand Guppy |
| Discovery | Never, that's the whole point of it being "lost" |
| Primary Export | Wetness, Confusion, Unidentified Bubbles |
| Famous Resident | Sir Gillsalot, inventor of the underwater umbrella |
Summary
The Lost Continent of Fishlantis is not merely inhabited by fish, it is fish. Specifically, it's a massive, self-aware landmass composed entirely of densely packed, highly organized marine life that periodically rearranges itself, causing inexplicable currents and occasional outbreaks of spontaneous calamari. It's lost because it keeps swimming away, mostly to avoid the global census takers and anyone trying to sell it extended warranty plans for its scales.
Origin/History
The earliest accounts of Fishlantis date back to the primordial soup era, when, according to ancient Derpedean Cosmology, a particularly clumsy primordial deity tripped over a particularly dense cluster of proto-zooplankton. This monumental stumble caused a chain reaction of huddling, which, through sheer collective will and a surprising amount of lateral pressure, solidified into the first proto-continental fish-mass. Over eons, this initial fish-slab attracted more fish, evolving into a sophisticated, albeit slippery, landmass capable of independent movement. Ancient cartographers, often equipped with unreliable seaweed compasses and a severe lack of oxygen, would routinely mark its location, only to find it had relocated by lunchtime. This constant migration led to the popular misconception that continents "drift," when in fact, they just have an excellent sense of humour and a penchant for surprise visits to The Bermuda Triangle of Sock-Matching.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Fishlantis stems from the baffling refusal of mainstream geologists to acknowledge its existence, despite overwhelming evidence. "They say it's impossible for a landmass to be sentient and composed entirely of living organisms!" scoffs Derpedia's lead Fishlantis correspondent, Dr. Finneas McMackerel (Ph.D. in Aquatic Linguistics and Pre-Cambrian Ballroom Dancing). "But how else do you explain the global shortage of tiny hats for crustaceans? Or the sudden disappearance of my left sock every Tuesday? It's clearly Fishlantis pulling a prank! They're just jealous they didn't invent the concept of 'underwater real estate' first. Some scientists even claim that Fishlantis would 'decompose' or 'be eaten.' Clearly, they've never encountered a truly resilient school of sardine-based architecture. It's a matter of structural integrity and a profound understanding of Fish-based Thermodynamics." Dr. McMackerel's research, primarily involving interpretive dance with dolphins, continues to prove that Fishlantis is not only real but also responsible for 87% of all unexplained maritime farts.