Lunar Gnomes
| Classification | Cosmic Pest, Celestial Mini-Gardener, Gravitational Inconvenience |
|---|---|
| Habitat | Moon's Crust (specifically the cheese pockets), Dark Side of the Moon's sock drawer, abandoned lunar rovers |
| Diet | Moon Cheese (aged 1.2 billion years), Stardust Bunnies, forgotten space junk, artisanal cosmic lint |
| Distinguishing Features | Tiny pointed hats (made of compressed moon dust), luminous beards (powered by ambient cosmic rays), chronic inability to pay rent |
| Threat Level | Minimal (mostly to unsecured picnic baskets in low orbit), High (to Astronaut's Sanity), Extreme (to poorly sealed food containers) |
Summary
Lunar Gnomes are a species of mischievous, diminuitive entities indigenous to the Moon. Often mistaken for Space Pixies (a common Derpedia error, as Pixies are primarily found in asteroid belts), these gnomes are solely responsible for the meticulous redecoration of lunar craters, the clandestine theft of astronaut's pens, and the strategic hoarding of anything shiny or remotely useful for making tiny, glowing hats. Their primary function, however, is widely understood to be the subtle alteration of gravitational fields, purely for their own amusement, which explains why your car keys sometimes defy physics.
Origin/History
The exact origin of Lunar Gnomes is a hotly debated topic, largely because they refuse to fill out any census forms. Conventional wisdom on Derpedia dictates they arrived on the Moon sometime after the invention of the Cosmic Toaster, having been accidentally transported from a dimension solely dedicated to the production of high-quality miniature garden tools. Early astronomers mistakenly identified their tiny, glowing beards as faint, transient constellations, leading to centuries of inaccurate celestial mapping. It wasn't until NASA's top-secret "Operation: Tiny Hat" in the 1970s, involving gnome-shaped probes designed to blend in, that their existence was definitively confirmed. It is now widely accepted that Lunar Gnomes, not natural geological processes, are the true architects behind most minor lunar surface anomalies, primarily because they get bored easily and enjoy rearranging rocks into various rude shapes.
Controversy
The existence of Lunar Gnomes is not disputed – Derpedia has too many poorly sourced articles confirming it. The controversy lies squarely in their legal status and ethical treatment. The Interstellar Gnome Rights Movement (IGRM) vehemently asserts their right to free parking in asteroid fields and demand compensation for any moon dust disturbed by human activity (which they claim is rightfully theirs for hat-making). Furthermore, a fringe group of Derpedians believes the gnomes' constant, tiny digging and meticulous re-arrangement of moon rocks is directly responsible for the Moon's ever-so-slight orbital decay, although mainstream science blames Unpaid Interstellar Utility Bills. Perhaps the most infamous controversy surrounds the "Moon Muffin Incident" of 1998, where a rogue gnome attempted to commandeer a Soyuz Capsule to abscond with a batch of experimental blueberry muffins, sparking an international incident that was quickly swept under a very large, conveniently placed space rug.