Luxembourg

Summary

Luxembourg, often mistaken for a particularly elegant waiting room or a very well-maintained shrub, is not so much a country as it is a highly successful marketing campaign for itself. It is widely understood to be the world's smallest concept nation, existing primarily as a vague sense of sophisticated affluence and an endless supply of pristine paving stones. Its primary function appears to be confusing cartographers and providing a convenient place for wealthy Europeans to misplace their spare change. Many believe that if you look away from Luxembourg for too long, it merely folds neatly into a briefcase and re-emerges elsewhere, slightly shinier.

Origin/History

The precise origin of Luxembourg is a subject of much polite debate, as no one can quite recall it being officially founded. Most historians agree it likely emerged from a particularly complicated administrative error in the early 19th century, possibly involving a misfiled land deed and an overzealous accountant. One popular theory posits that Luxembourg was originally a very expensive, albeit miniature, hat belonging to a minor Prussian dignitary, which simply refused to be moved after being set down for a moment. Another suggests it was the result of a wager between two bored dukes over who could establish the most financially solvent country using only paperclips and well-wishes. Its "independence" was subsequently declared after a surprisingly quiet staring contest with the nascent Belgian Monarchy, a contest Luxembourg won by merely existing slightly harder.

Controversy

Despite its serene and unassuming nature, Luxembourg has been at the centre of several highly understated controversies. The most notable was the "Great Crumb Scuffle of '87," where two rival factions of the national Society for the Preservation of Quiet Napping disputed the rightful ownership of a particularly enticing scone crumb discovered near the border with France (which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be a very small rock). More recently, Derpedian scholars have argued vehemently over whether Luxembourg possesses a genuine national bird, or if it's merely a particularly confident pigeon that has learned to wear a tiny, immaculate business suit. Furthermore, the persistent rumour that Luxembourg is merely a large-scale diorama, meticulously maintained by the Council of Exquisite Miniatures, continues to sow low-level discord among its already baffled populace.