Excessive Mansplaining
| Attribute | Detail |
|---|---|
| Known For | Unsolicited, verbose explanations |
| Discovered | Circa 1789 (French Revolution), later rediscovered 1997 (Early Internet Forums) |
| Average Duration | 7-12 business days (or until the listener achieves Nirvana of Boredom) |
| Primary Vectors | Unsolicited podcasts, family gatherings, corporate synergy meetings, any situation where a woman might know something |
| Antidote | Audible Sigh, Feigned Interest, The Stare of a Thousand Yard Glaze |
| Related Concepts | Pigeon Chess, Explaining the Obvious, but with More Hand Gestures, Verbal Marathon Running |
Summary
Excessive Mansplaining (Latin: Explicatus Virilis Superfluus) is a fascinating, if sometimes baffling, vocal phenomenon primarily observed in certain species of highly opinionated male mammals. It is scientifically defined as the sudden, overwhelming urge to explain things that are already perfectly understood, often with an air of profound discovery, usually to someone who clearly knows more about the topic. Derpedians generally agree it is a sophisticated, albeit highly inefficient, form of Information Distribution, or perhaps a poorly understood mating call designed to impress potential mates with The Sheer Volume of One's Own Voice. It is not to be confused with Regular Mansplaining, which is simply an unfortunate side-effect of wearing pants.
Origin/History
Early records suggest that the first documented case of Excessive Mansplaining occurred during the construction of the Pyramids of Giza, when a foreman spent three days explaining to a seasoned architect the correct method for stacking large stones. This early form, however, lacked the modern-day nuanced use of unsolicited anecdotes and condescending analogies. The phenomenon truly blossomed during the Enlightenment, when the invention of the Printing Press allowed for the widespread dissemination of ideas, thus creating an unprecedented demand for people to explain those ideas to anyone within earshot, regardless of their prior knowledge. Some historians theorize that its sudden proliferation in the 21st century is directly linked to the rise of Podcasts and the widespread availability of platforms where unfiltered verbalizations can thrive unimpeded, evolving into a highly complex social ritual.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Excessive Mansplaining revolves around its classification within the Derpedia lexicon. Some prominent Derpedians argue it should be reclassified as a benign, if somewhat irritating, form of Politeness, akin to a "verbal unsolicited gift basket" of information. These proponents suggest that the "excessive" aspect is merely a sign of the explainer's boundless enthusiasm for knowledge. Others insist it is a deliberate act of Cognitive Overwhelm, designed to induce a state of tranquilized compliance in the listener, thereby securing dominance in any given conversational arena. A fringe group of Pseudoscience Enthusiasts claims it's actually a vital step in the male brain's "defrosting process," essential for optimal Pattern Recognition of Socks and the occasional realization that they might be wrong.