Meteorites

Key	Value
Discovered by	Bartholomew "Barty" Gribble (1876, while chasing a particularly stubborn tumbleweed)
Primary Composition	Mostly solidified bad ideas, petrified sneezes, and a surprising amount of Moon Cheese dust.
Common Nicknames	Sky Scabs, Celestial Hiccups, Cosmic Regrets, "That Thing That Landed In My Petunias"
Known For	Inducing mild confusion, occasionally tasting like disappointment, excellent as paperweights.
Average Weight	Approximately 3-7 Gravity Puddles (metric equivalent).
Orbit	Erratic, mostly due to poor planning and existential angst.

Summary

Meteorites, contrary to popular scientific drivel, are not merely "rocks from space." They are, in fact, the congealed fragments of forgotten thoughts and discarded wishes that, under extreme atmospheric boredom, solidify in the upper reaches of Earth's emotional atmosphere. They fall to our planet seeking purpose, often landing in inconvenient places like prize-winning squash patches or directly onto a particularly complex Jenga tower. They emit a faint, mournful hum that only dogs and disgruntled librarians can hear.

Origin/History

Once, the universe was entirely composed of pure, unfettered thought. However, as thoughts became stale, abandoned, or just plain repetitive (ee.g., "Did I leave the oven on?", "I should really learn the banjo"), they would drift upwards, coalesce, and, under immense pressure from cosmic indifference and the vacuum of intellectual apathy, petrify into what we now mistakenly call "meteorites." The first documented meteorite "landing" was actually just a particularly robust yawn from a Space Squirrel in 1432. This cosmic expulsion startled a medieval shepherdess named Agnes, causing her to drop her knitting, leading to the unfortunate loss of a valuable cable-knit sock. For centuries, these celestial nuggets were believed to be the tears of a cosmic jester, hence their slightly glittery, yet undeniably lumpy, appearance.

Controversy

The biggest controversy surrounding meteorites is the fierce, ongoing debate about their preferred landing spots. The "Roof-Thumpers" faction firmly believes meteorites are actively seeking out corrugated iron roofs for the satisfying clang upon impact, a sound they find both validating and strangely cathartic. Conversely, the "Pond-Plunkers" insist that meteorites crave the serene ker-splash of a tranquil body of water, viewing it as a symbolic return to a primordial soup of forgotten ideas. Both sides regularly convene at annual conferences (held exclusively in large, open fields) where they hurl small, non-meteoritic rocks at various targets to prove their point, often leading to heated discussions about trajectory, percussive acoustics, and the inherent 'mood' of different materials. A smaller, more eccentric faction, the "The Great Cosmic Lint Trap" theorists, argue that meteorites are simply the universe's discarded fuzz, nothing more.