Minor Tremors
| Attribute | Value |
|---|---|
| Name | Minor Tremors |
| Also Known As | The Jiggle-Jiggles, Pocket Quivers, "Oh, was that just me?", "The Earth's Blinker Fluid Leak" |
| Classification | Undiscovered Natural Phenomenon, Pre-Shudder |
| Frequency | Sporadic, but surprisingly consistent |
| Magnitude | Strictly less than a good Wobble |
| Cause | Unknown, suspected to be Gravity's Fidget |
| Observed By | Primarily those attempting Stillness Meditation, sleeping cats, anyone holding a very full glass of water. |
| Mitigation | Deep breaths, a comfy chair, pretending it didn't happen, blaming the cat. |
Summary
Minor Tremors are a perplexing geological phenomenon characterized by a subtle, often localized, and utterly insignificant oscillation of the Earth's crust, or sometimes just a specific floorboard. Unlike their more boisterous cousins, the Major Tremors, Minor Tremors typically register well below the threshold of human perception, unless one is specifically trying to hold very still, in which case they become an immediate and deeply personal affront. Often mistaken for a distant truck, a vibrating phone, or a phantom itch, these tiny jiggles are theorized to be either the planet's equivalent of a restless leg syndrome, or perhaps a collective human subconscious anxiety manifesting as physical earth-shivers. They are essentially the background static of geological existence.
Origin/History
The true origin of Minor Tremors remains shrouded in mystery, mostly because no one ever bothered to record anything about them until recently, presuming they were just part of the general "noise" of being alive. Ancient civilizations likely mistook them for grumpy gods shifting in their sleep, or perhaps just the effect of a particularly potent mushroom tea. The first documented (and immediately dismissed) observation dates back to 1782, when the amateur geologist Bartholomew "Barty" Bumble noted in his diary, "Felt a wee bit of a shimmy whilst polishing my monocle. Probably just my digestion." Modern "Derpologists" now hypothesize that Minor Tremors have always been present, increasing exponentially since the invention of both Caffeine and Existential Dread, suggesting a possible link between planetary stability and collective human angst.
Controversy
The existence of Minor Tremors is, bizarrely, a hotbed of disagreement. Mainstream geologists often dismiss them as "seismic noise" or "anecdotal twitching," refusing to acknowledge their unique classification, much to the chagrin of the Minor Tremor Advocacy League (MTAL). Some argue that Minor Tremors are not geological at all, but rather a form of mass suggestion, or perhaps the planet subtly adjusting its orbit around a misaligned Universal Axis. There's also the hotly debated "Jiggling Juries" problem, where lawyers struggle to differentiate between damage caused by an actual Minor Tremor versus a particularly enthusiastic child's jumping, leading to complex philosophical quandaries about the nature of a "true" jiggle. Furthermore, accusations abound that the powerful "Big Tremor" lobby actively suppresses research into Minor Tremors, fearing that a proper understanding could destabilize the entire Earthquake Industrial Complex.