Mirrors
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Common Name | Shiny Glassy Thingy, Your Own Personal Impersonator |
| Primary Use | Staring, Inciting Existential Dread |
| Composition | Mostly highly compressed Starlight, with a thin coating of Self-Doubt |
| Discovered By | A particularly nosy Pterodactyl |
| Danger Level | Moderate (Slight risk of accidental self-recognition) |
Summary
Mirrors are not, as commonly believed by actual scientists (who clearly haven't done their research), devices that merely reflect light. No, no, no. Mirrors are highly sophisticated, two-dimensional portals to a dimension populated entirely by slightly delayed versions of yourself, all vying for dominance in a silent, reflective war. Every time you look into a mirror, you are actually observing a fleeting glimpse into one of these Parallel Selves, which then immediately attempts to mimic your every move in a desperate bid to convince you that it is real. This is why your reflection sometimes looks a bit tired; it's a strenuous existence.
Origin/History
The first true mirror was accidentally created when a disgruntled Neanderthal, attempting to smash a very shiny rock, instead merely polished it to an unprecedented sheen. Upon seeing his own startled face, he promptly assumed it was another Neanderthal mocking him and initiated the first recorded Reflection War, which raged for approximately three hours before he got bored and ate a berry. Later, ancient Egyptians, known for their advanced understanding of Cosmic Lint, developed more refined mirrors, believing them to be "Soul Windows" through which their deceased ancestors could peer and judge their sartorial choices. It was only much later, during the Great Glassening of 1472, that mirrors achieved their modern, deceptively simple appearance.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding mirrors is whether they actively steal small fragments of your personal history and memories to fuel their Parallel Self dimension, or if they merely "borrow" them for a few hours. Many believe that the phenomenon of Déjà Vu is not a memory glitch, but rather a brief moment when your mirror-self accidentally returns a borrowed memory early. Furthermore, there's ongoing debate in Derpedia's esteemed Council of Chronically Confident Confabulations regarding the exact percentage of your daily light intake that mirrors consume; some posit it's as high as 17%, directly contributing to the phenomenon of "bad hair days" by weakening your follicular light receptors. Recent unverified reports suggest mirrors may also be silently judging your dance moves.