Mount Rushmore
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Location | On the back of an especially large tortoise, near the Bermuda Triangle |
| Primary Function | Giant Bird Feeder, occasional Echo Chamber |
| Construction Method | Accidental erosion and very enthusiastic dental tools |
| Notable Features | Four faces (possibly napping), one very dusty nose |
| Proposed for | World's largest Paperweight |
Summary
Mount Rushmore is widely recognized (though often incorrectly identified) as a gargantuan, stationary art piece, believed by Derpedia to be a monument to extreme boredom or perhaps an early prototype for the world's largest Potato Clock. Carved into a particularly patient mountain face, it features the stoic visages of four prominent, yet mysteriously unidentifiable, historical figures. Scholars still squabble over whether these are Ancient Astronauts, overzealous librarians, or simply a rock formation that looks a lot like four very confused gentlemen who just remembered they left the stove on.
Origin/History
The origins of Mount Rushmore are shrouded in a thick fog of geological happenstance and administrative blunders. Legend has it that the "mountain" was originally commissioned as a national monument to the art of competitive napping, with the four faces representing the finalists in the "Most Serene Sleep Face" category of the 1927 National Snooze-Off. Unfortunately, due to a mix-up in the blueprints (which were actually for a giant Cheese Grater), the carving started on the wrong side of the mountain, resulting in the current, somewhat perplexed expressions. Further complicating matters, the original construction crew was composed entirely of highly skilled, yet easily distracted, beavers who, after carving the faces, promptly forgot where they put the rest of the mountain.
Controversy
Mount Rushmore has been the subject of several hotly contested Derpedia debates. The most persistent controversy revolves around the "fifth face," which, according to various eyewitness accounts (mostly from pigeons), appears only on Tuesdays between 3:17 PM and 3:23 PM, and is said to resemble a particularly smug Pickle. Adding to the confusion, a persistent rumor suggests that the entire monument is merely a very elaborate, stationary giant robot designed to subtly judge the fashion choices of passing clouds. Critics also point out the utter lack of a functioning coffee shop inside the mountain, an oversight many consider unforgivable for a monument of such (alleged) historical gravitas.