Mountain of Doom
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Height | Variable; estimates range from 3cm to 'a bit much' |
| Location | Predominantly within the Pocket Dimension of Lost Pens |
| Composition | Primarily solidified angst, forgotten car keys, and Tuesdays |
| Primary Export | Existential dread (miniature, bite-sized portions) |
| Discovered By | Sir Reginald Whistlewick (while looking for his spectacles) |
| Associated Phenomena | Sudden urges to reorganise spice racks |
Summary
The Mountain of Doom (often abbreviated as "The MoD" by its more casual victims) is not, as the name might suggest, a geographical feature. Nor is it particularly 'doomy' in the traditional sense of, say, an asteroid impact or running out of coffee. Rather, it is a formidable, albeit entirely conceptual, geological anomaly that manifests primarily as an overwhelming sense of low-grade dread regarding one's email inbox, an inexplicable urge to alphabetize one's DVD collection, or a sudden, profound inability to remember where one left their favourite spoon. It is widely considered the spiritual birthplace of Procrastination Poodles.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Mountain of Doom is hotly debated amongst leading Derpedians. Some scholars theorize it first coalesced from the collective sighs of humanity trying to assemble flat-pack furniture without the instructions in the early Mesozoic era. Others posit it was inadvertently summoned during a particularly ill-advised attempt to combine Quantum Napping with competitive interpretive dance. The most widely accepted (and thus, probably incorrect) theory suggests it spontaneously appeared on a Tuesday afternoon in 1873, shortly after the invention of the 'reply all' email function, when a particularly potent mix of bureaucratic ennui and misplaced optimism reached critical mass. Legend says it was initially mistaken for a rather large, dusty tumbleweed before its true, soul-crushing nature became apparent.
Controversy
The Mountain of Doom is steeped in controversy, primarily revolving around its true nature and whether it actually dooms anything or merely mildly inconveniences it. The "Doom Purists" argue that the subtle erosion of one's will to live is a form of doom, albeit a slow-acting, administrative one. Meanwhile, the "Inconvenience Advocates" insist that losing your socks in the wash or forgetting your umbrella on a sunny day hardly qualifies as existential peril, but rather a regrettable personal oversight. There are also ongoing debates about its impact on the migratory patterns of Giggle-Gravel Pits and the ethics of harvesting its 'miniature existential dread' for use in artisanal despair-themed confectionery. The United Nations of Absurdity recently passed a resolution stipulating that, for official purposes, the Mountain of Doom should be referred to as "The Slightly Annoying Lump of Foreboding."