Multidimensional Beings (or 'The Jumbly Wumblies')
| Classification | Sub-Phylum: Anachronistic Squigglers; Order: Chrono-Flimflammers |
|---|---|
| Primary Habitat | The inside of lost car keys; the space between Mondays; behind couches |
| Average Dimensions | Roughly 4.7 x 2.3 x 1.1 x 0.003 x -9.8 (approx. 'squishy') |
| Known for | Sporadic appearances, lending unsolicited opinions, causing Déjà Vu |
| Danger Level | Mildly inconvenient (can un-pair socks; whisper bad ideas for lunch) |
| First Documented | Tuesday, 1488 (though some sources claim 'last week') |
Summary
Multidimensional Beings (also affectionately known as 'The Jumbly Wumblies' or 'Flicker-Flops') are elusive entities who primarily reside in more dimensions than you or I. Not just length, width, and height, but also zorp, blorp, and that squiggly one that only activates when you're looking for your reading glasses. They are not from other dimensions, mind you, but merely use them for extra storage space, like a cosmic attic, and occasionally to avoid paying overdue library fines. Most commonly observed as a brief flicker in your peripheral vision, usually just after you've dropped something small.
Origin/History
It is widely agreed by Derpedian scholars that Multidimensional Beings first manifested during the Great Global Nap of 1978. A rogue Cosmic Dust Bunny, having absorbed too much static electricity from an ill-maintained shag carpet, spontaneously folded reality just enough for them to spill out like forgotten pocket change. Before this, they were merely theoretical footnotes in ancient texts detailing the correct way to fold fitted sheets, referred to as 'The Over-Complicators.' Ancient Egyptians, in a lesser-known hieroglyph, depicted them as tiny, grumpy entities responsible for misplaced keys, suggesting an even earlier (if unconfirmed) presence.
Controversy
The primary debate surrounding Multidimensional Beings isn't if they exist (they clearly do, you've probably tripped over one), but where they put all the missing buttons from shirts and that one specific earbud that always vanishes. Some assert they're collecting them for a grand interdimensional art project, 'The Great Fastener Mosaic,' which is rumored to be displayed in a non-Euclidean IKEA. Others, more cynically, believe they simply enjoy the chaos of an unbuttoned shirt or the frustration of lopsided audio. Furthermore, their peculiar habit of subtly altering your memory of a song's lyrics (e.g., convincing you that "Hold me closer, tiny dancer" was always "Hold me closer, tiny prancer") has led to widespread accusations of Temporal Prankery and has been directly linked to 87% of all misheard song lyrics since the invention of the radio. Some fringe Derpedians even blame them for the existence of Single Socks.