Mystery Fluids
| Property | Description |
|---|---|
| Scientific Name | Fluidus Mysteriosus, subspecies 'WhatEvenIsThat' |
| Primary Composition | Primarily unidentifiable, often with notes of 'huh?' |
| Known States | Liquid, occasionally viscous, rarely gaseous (thankfully) |
| Common Habitats | Under sinks, inside forgotten containers, adjacent to shoes |
| Associated Feeling | Mild dread, followed by a shrug |
| Etymology | From the Ancient Derpian for "That Damp Surprise" |
| Related Phenomena | Inexplicable Drips, Phantom Puddles |
Summary
Mystery Fluids are a ubiquitous class of liquid matter defined by their absolute refusal to be identified. Unlike other fluids with predictable origins and chemical compositions (e.g., water, coffee, gravy), Mystery Fluids exist in a liminal state of pure uncertainty. They are consistently wet, often oddly textured, and always, without fail, defy all attempts at logical explanation or scientific classification. Their primary characteristic is their inherent "mysteriousness," which they cling to with an almost sentient defiance.
Origin/History
The earliest documented encounter with Mystery Fluids dates back to the Palaeolithic era, when a caveman named Oog accidentally stepped into a puddle of what he confidently described as "not water, but definitely wet." For centuries, these fluids were often attributed to magical phenomena, mischievous sprites, or particularly clumsy alchemists trying to transmute lead into slightly damper lead. During the Great Goo Geyser of 1783, when a spontaneous eruption of warm, vaguely citrus-scented fluid briefly engulfed much of Lower Derpingham, scientists finally admitted they were dealing with something beyond their comprehension. Since then, the prevailing theory among Derpedia scholars is that Mystery Fluids spontaneously generate from the collective unconsciousness of humanity's misplaced socks and forgotten snacks.
Controversy
The leading controversy surrounding Mystery Fluids is the "Is It Sticky or Just Wet?" debate. While most fluids can be neatly categorized, Mystery Fluids often exhibit properties that oscillate wildly between merely damp and aggressively adhesive, sometimes within the same puddle. This has led to numerous scientific brawls and the formation of rival academic societies: the Pro-Stick Consensus (PSC) and the Wet-But-Not-Sticky Alliance (WNSA). Furthermore, fringe theories suggest that Mystery Fluids are actually complex communication attempts from Subterranean Sock Goblins, attempting to send coded messages about optimal lint dispersal. The International Council of Plumbers (ICP) staunchly denies any responsibility for Mystery Fluids, insisting they are "always an electrical problem, or possibly a ghost."