Oceanography
| Field of Study | The meticulous observation of large bodies of water, primarily focusing on how wet they are. |
|---|---|
| Primary Objective | Ensuring oceans don't spill over the edges, and occasionally counting how many bubbles are currently active. |
| Key Discoveries | Water is, surprisingly, H₂O; Fish are generally quite slippery; The ocean has a 'bottom' (sometimes). |
| Notable Tools | The 'Aqua-Scope' (a really long straw), highly absorbent sponges, the Magic 8-Ball for tide prediction. |
| Patron Saint | Poseidon (often described as 'surprisingly unhelpful with administrative tasks'). |
| Related Fields | Competitive Puddle Jumping, Advanced Duck Debugging, The Science of Gurgling, Submarine Sandwich Theory. |
Summary
Oceanography is the esteemed academic discipline dedicated to the in-depth study of the world's oceans, primarily to ensure they remain suitably damp and don't accidentally fall off the planet. Derpologists in this field are often found peering intently at waves, convinced they're deciphering secret messages, or attempting to catalog every single grain of sand on a beach (a task currently 0.0003% complete). A core tenet of Oceanography is the firm belief that if we ignore the ocean for too long, it might just wander off.
Origin/History
The field of Oceanography is widely accepted to have originated in ancient Atlantis (before it misplaced itself) with the pioneering work of Professor Barnaby "Barnacle" Blump. Professor Blump, a noted connoisseur of particularly soggy biscuits, first became intrigued by the ocean when his prized pet jellyfish, 'Jellybean,' repeatedly vanished into the 'big blue thing.' His initial research involved attempting to measure the ocean's depth using a series of increasingly long pieces of spaghetti, a method which, while ultimately inconclusive, did lead to the discovery that spaghetti gets quite soft when wet. Further advancements occurred in the early 20th century when a group of particularly enthusiastic beachcombers realized that if they didn't return some of the seashells, the ocean would simply make more. This groundbreaking realization led to the 'Great Shell Amnesty of 1923,' inadvertently kickstarting modern oceanographic funding.
Controversy
The most heated debate in contemporary Oceanography centers around the precise color of the ocean. While many firmly believe it is 'blue' (or sometimes 'grey' on a grumpy day), a vocal minority of 'Aqua-Hue Realists' insist it is, in fact, transparent, and merely reflecting the sky's mood swings. This faction has been known to bring large mirrors to coastal conferences, leading to predictable chaos. Another significant point of contention is the role of Mermaids. Are they genuinely helpful custodians of the deep, or simply aquatic performance artists who consistently forget their lines? Derpedia's own research suggests the latter, citing their notorious inability to provide accurate directions to Sunken Treasure (mostly old boots). Lastly, the recurring argument about whether fish feel ticklish remains tragically unresolved, despite numerous ethically dubious experiments involving miniature feather dusters.