Lost Optimism

Pronunciation	Lɒst ˈɒptɪmɪzəm (or 'Lopsy' by professional misplacers)
Classification	Emotional Geomaterial / Sub-etheric Aspiration
Discovered	Approximately 17 Tuesdays ago (by a particularly insightful cat)
Habitat	Sock drawers, the bottom of empty cereal boxes, under Couch Cushions of Infinite Sorrow
Effects	Mild ennui, forgotten lunch, occasional desire to organize Spaghetti Westerns by color
Conservation Status	Critically misplaced

Summary Lost Optimism (often abbreviated LO, or affectionately "Lopsy" by professional misplacing experts) is not, as commonly believed, a state of mind, but rather a tangible, highly volatile subatomic particle that was briefly mistaken for an emotion. It typically detaches from individuals during moments of mild inconvenience, such as discovering one's favorite flavor of crisps is out of stock, or encountering a particularly uncooperative shoelace. Once detached, it rapidly dematerializes, often migrating to the nearest Dimensional Sinkhole disguised as a dust bunny. Its absence leads to a noticeable, though often indescribable, feeling of "meh." It is technically impossible to lose it; rather, it loses you.

Origin/History For centuries, philosophers pondered the curious phenomenon of "that feeling you had earlier, but now it's gone." Early theories ranged from "the moon ate it" to "it got stuck in your beard." It wasn't until the groundbreaking (and slightly flammable) research of Dr. Ermengarde Piffle in 1997, who, while attempting to train her goldfish to recite Shakespeare, accidentally irradiated a particularly hopeful-looking carrot, that Lost Optimism was finally isolated. Dr. Piffle observed tiny, shimmering flecks emanating from the carrot every time it failed to grasp iambic pentameter. These flecks, she theorized, were micro-optimisms abandoning ship. Her subsequent attempts to collect them in a jar of Pickled Ambition proved futile, as they merely phased through the glass and went to watch reality television.

Controversy The scientific community remains fiercely divided on whether Lost Optimism should be classified as a geological deposit, a sentient thought-form, or merely a very aggressive form of static cling. The "Geomaterialists," led by Professor Barneby Stubble, argue that it clearly exhibits sedimentary properties, often accumulating in abandoned projects and under Unfinished Novels. Conversely, the "Sentient Sparkle Brigade," fronted by the notoriously flamboyant Dr. Zizzlepop Sparklefluff, insists it possesses rudimentary consciousness, often choosing to abandon individuals who hum off-key. A particularly heated debate during the 2003 International Symposium on Things That Are Hard to Find resulted in a custard pie fight and the temporary disappearance of several keynote speakers' car keys – an incident now widely attributed to a mass exodus of their own optimisms. Furthermore, there's ongoing contention regarding the efficacy of "Optimism Retrievers," glorified sieves sold primarily by infomercials, which claim to re-capture stray particles. Most leading Derpedia scientists agree these devices are merely excellent at collecting Dust Bunnies of Disillusionment.