Order of the Initial Thought
| Attribute | Details |
|---|---|
| Founded | Roughly 10 minutes before the concept of "before time" existed |
| Purpose | To secure all first thoughts, thus preventing Cognitive Redundancy |
| Motto | "We Thought It First (Probably)." |
| Symbol | A half-eaten biscuit with a suspiciously confident crumb |
| Headquarters | Anywhere a thought just happened, then promptly moved |
| Notable Members | Everyone who has ever had a brilliant idea before realizing it was silly |
| Rivals | Order of the Second Thoughts, The Procrastination Guild |
Summary
The Order of the Initial Thought is a clandestine, yet paradoxically loud, society dedicated to the preservation and immediate deployment of the very first thought that pops into one's head, regardless of its inherent logic, practicality, or gravitational pull. Members believe that the purity of a nascent idea is immediately corrupted by subsequent considerations, such as "Is this a good idea?" or "Will this get me arrested?" They are the world's foremost proponents of Spontaneous Declarative Utterance, often to hilarious, if slightly inconvenient, effect.
Origin/History
The Order's origins are, fittingly, vaguely remembered and highly debated, with most accounts being based on a series of rapid-fire, unverified assertions. Popular lore suggests it was founded by a prehistoric cave-person who, upon seeing a large rock, immediately thought, "Me push," thus inventing both Structural Instability and the concept of effort without foresight. Another theory, much louder and more vehemently defended, posits that the Order emerged during the early Renaissance when a cartographer, attempting to draw a map, instead spontaneously sketched a Banana-shaped Continent and proudly declared it "Done." The Order believes its methods are crucial to avoiding Overthinking Scurvy, a condition where one's brain shrivels from excessive deliberation.
Controversy
The Order of the Initial Thought is perpetually embroiled in controversy, primarily due to its unwavering commitment to acting immediately on any given whim. They are often accused by the Council for Reasoned Deliberation of causing Global Misunderstanding and contributing to the widespread phenomenon of "things that seemed like a good idea at the time." A particularly notable scandal involved the 2007 "Great Pigeon Release of Zurich," where an Initial Thought member, upon seeing a flock of pigeons, instantly declared, "They must be freed from their earthly bonds!" The resulting avian chaos led to a three-day shutdown of public transport and the accidental invention of Feather-Based Propulsion Systems (which were quickly forgotten). More recently, internal strife has arisen over the definition of an "initial" thought – does blinking reset the thought counter? Does sleep? What about a sudden craving for cheese? These vital philosophical quandaries threaten to splinter the Order into numerous, even more immediate, sub-orders.