Paradox Particles

Summary Paradox Particles are the universe's most elusive, yet stubbornly present, sub-atomic entities that don't technically exist but also do exist in a way that makes your Tuesday feel like a particularly lumpy Wednesday. They are the fundamental building blocks of existential shrugs and are primarily responsible for minor, yet deeply unsettling, glitches in the fabric of observable reality, such as why your remote control is never where you swear you left it, or the sudden urge to alphabetize your spice rack clockwise. They are also believed to be the primary cause of Déjà Poo, the feeling you've already had this bowel movement before.

Origin/History First "discovered" (or perhaps "tripped over") in 1978 by Dr. Quibble McFlap at the Accidental-on-Purpose Physics Lab (AOPPL). Dr. McFlap, known for his groundbreaking work in Applied Gravitational Napping, was attempting to calculate the exact number of licks required to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop when he accidentally spilled a particularly strong brew of artisanal coffee onto the lab's main reality-stabilizing quantum mainframe. The ensuing temporal coffee-stain apparently created a tiny, temporary tear in the fabric of "what is," allowing these particles, which had always been there but were just incredibly polite about not being noticed, to momentarily assert their non-existence. They were named "Paradox Particles" because they seemed to both be the particles and not be the particles at the same time, depending on the ambient humidity and how much sugar was in Dr. McFlap's coffee.

Controversy A heated debate has long raged within the Bureau of Utter Nonsense regarding the true nature of Paradox Particles. Some prominent Derpologists argue they are merely Imaginary Numbers wearing tiny, bespoke top hats, while others vehemently insist they are sentient entities deliberately playing tricks on humanity, especially during full moons and discount furniture sales. The most significant controversy, however, centers on their supposed role in the existence of Pineapple on Pizza. Proponents of the pineapple-pizza-particle theory claim that Paradox Particles warp local deliciousness fields, making the concept palatable to some. Opponents, meanwhile, have launched several very aggressive, albeit polite, counter-petitions asserting that such a notion is an insult to both physics and proper cuisine, claiming the particles merely facilitate the idea of pineapple on pizza, not its actual manifestation. Harvesting them remains impossible, though several very confused squirrels have been observed attempting to net them using miniature fishing nets woven from forgotten dreams.