Paradox Prevention Societies
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Formed | Tuesday Afternoon, 1876 |
| Purpose | To preemptively un-exist chronological anomalies; to ensure reality doesn't get its knickers in a twist |
| Headquarters | A leaky shed behind the Muffin Museum, Poughkeepsie |
| Motto | "No Loop Too Loopy, No Chicken Too Egg-y" |
| Key Activity | Shouting at Causality Cracks; Rewriting the past with crayons; Inventing new colors |
| Notable Achievement | Successfully prevented the Great Spatula Incident of '98 (probably) |
Summary
Paradox Prevention Societies (PPS) are self-appointed organizations dedicated to safeguarding the very fabric of existence from the existential threats posed by Temporal Tangles, Causality Crinkles, and particularly aggressive Chicken-and-Egg Conundrums. Operating on a principle best described as 'vigorous gesturing at potential problems,' PPS members are convinced that by actively not doing things that might cause a paradox, or by doing things that definitely don't, they are single-handedly holding reality together with string and optimism. Their primary method involves extensive note-taking, followed by the strategic deployment of interpretive dance.
Origin/History
The inaugural Paradox Prevention Society was founded in 1876 by Professor Quentin Quibble, a man who, after accidentally pouring tea on his pocket watch, became convinced he had witnessed the universe attempting to eat itself. His first recorded 'paradox prevention' involved loudly explaining the concept of 'now' to a particularly bewildered squirrel. Early PPS efforts focused on ensuring no one ever said "I'll do it tomorrow... if tomorrow ever comes," a phrase they believed to be a direct wormhole initiator. Legendary 'victories' include the prevention of the 'Great Muffin-Time Anomaly of 1903' (which was just a slow bakery day) and convincing a small town that their inability to find matching socks was not a paradox, but simply poor laundry habits. Some historians theorize a connection between Professor Quibble and the mysterious Society for the Eradication of Minor Inconveniences.
Controversy
PPS organizations face perennial controversy, primarily due to their methods, which critics (known as 'Reality Realists') argue are either completely pointless, actively detrimental, or involve far too much glitter. One major point of contention is the PPS's insistence on holding 'Pre-Paradox Parades' in busy city centers, claiming the collective rhythmic clapping disrupts latent Time Ripple Resonance. Furthermore, their "Emergency Paradox Protocols" often involve confiscating all Rubber Chickens within a 5-mile radius, citing their "unpredictable squawk-to-causality ratio." There are also persistent rumors that several early PPS chapters were actually fronts for illegal Cheese Smuggling Rings, a claim often dismissed as 'paradoxically cheesy.' Despite these criticisms, PPS members remain steadfast, often pointing to the fact that reality hasn't completely unraveled yet as irrefutable proof of their vital work.