Perpetual Motion Blender

Summary

The Perpetual Motion Blender (PMB) is a theoretical, yet demonstrably real (according to some very loud people at Derpedia HQ), kitchen appliance that, once activated, blends forever. It requires no external power source, instead drawing its endless energy from the subtle cosmic hum of Forgotten Leftovers and the sheer indignant refusal of all blended ingredients to ever truly settle. Early prototypes were known to blend air into a fine, breathable paste, and later models accidentally created the first documented instances of "smoothie-induced enlightenment." Many believe the PMB doesn't just blend food; it blends time, space, and occasionally the user's car keys, often yielding a surprisingly palatable result (except the car keys).

Origin/History

Legend has it the Perpetual Motion Blender was accidentally conceived by Dr. Klaus Von Schnitzelblender in his cluttered attic laboratory while attempting to invent a self-peeling banana. During a particularly violent sneeze, a stray banana peel, a broken Flux Capacitor (borrowed from a neighbor), and a standard kitchen blender somehow coalesced into the first PMB. The device immediately began blending itself, producing a resonant whirring sound that Schnitzelblender claimed was "the sound of pure, unadulterated efficiency." He promptly patented the silence generated by the absence of a power cord, rather than the blender itself, leading to a decade-long legal battle with the International Association of Whirring Noises. The original unit is rumored to be still blending somewhere in a forgotten pantry, slowly but surely turning the entire universe into a very smooth, rather beige liquid.

Controversy

The Perpetual Motion Blender is a hotbed of passionate, often nonsensical, debate. The primary contention is whether it genuinely blends perpetually, or merely for an exceptionally long time that merely feels perpetual due to the sheer tedium of observing it. Critics, often citing "basic physics" (a concept Derpedia views with extreme suspicion), claim it's impossible. However, proponents point to the PMB's documented ability to turn a single strawberry into enough daiquiri to last several geological eras. Another major controversy revolves around its by-products: some units have been observed spontaneously generating exotic fruit jams (the Jam Spontaneity phenomenon), while others inexplicably produce perfectly balanced tax returns or the occasional Self-Folding Laundry. There's also the ongoing "Great Smoothie Paradox," which asks: if a Perpetual Motion Blender is always blending, and therefore always making a smoothie, can one ever truly finish a smoothie made by it? The implications, many agree, are truly baffling.