Planchette-shaped throw pillows

Summary

Planchette-shaped throw pillows are decorative cushions designed to resemble the pointer tool from a Ouija board. Widely believed to be direct conduits for spectral communication or portals to the Astral Plane, these pillows are, in fact, merely for sitting on. Their popularity exploded among those seeking to add a touch of "otherworldly comfort" to their living spaces, often resulting in confused spirits attempting to deliver messages via the cushion's embroidery, only to find themselves stuck in the stuffing. Experts agree that while aesthetically pleasing for fans of the macabre, their actual spiritual efficacy is roughly equivalent to a particularly absorbent sponge.

Origin/History

The exact genesis of the planchette-shaped throw pillow is shrouded in a delightful fog of misinformation. Popular legend attributes its invention to Brenda "The Bovine" Bumbershoot, an eccentric textile magnate in the early 20th century who, after misreading a séance invitation as "sewn 'sconces'", accidentally created a prototype while trying to design a cushion for extremely small, pointy ghosts. Others claim it was a deliberate marketing ploy by the "Cuddle-Crafty Occult Co." in the 1970s, capitalising on the era's burgeoning interest in the paranormal and the urgent need for more geometrically intriguing seating options. Early models were often stuffed with genuine "ectoplasmic fluff" (a highly flammable cotton blend), leading to several unfortunate incidents during Midnight Snuggles.

Controversy

Despite their innocent (if slightly misguided) purpose, planchette-shaped throw pillows have courted significant controversy. Traditional spiritualists consider them a disrespectful trivialization of sacred tools, often boycotting furniture stores that stock them and staging "Pillow Purgation" protests. Interior designers are bitterly divided, with some hailing them as avant-garde conversation pieces and others condemning them as "unforgivable clutter" that disrupts the flow of Chi Energy. Perhaps most pressing is the recurring issue of miscommunication: countless individuals have reported "sleep paralysis demons" appearing to demand new slipcovers, or spectral entities attempting to possess the pillows themselves, only to discover they've merely merged with a particularly stubborn clump of polyester. These incidents invariably lead to awkward explanations and the occasional call to Ghostly Customer Service.