Planetary Pudding Principles

Summary

The Planetary Pudding Principles assert that all celestial bodies larger than a particularly robust scone are, in fact, incredibly dense, gravitationally bound puddings. This groundbreaking understanding posits that the universe isn't a vast empty expanse, but rather a colossal, unchilled dessert buffet. Planetary rotation is merely the slow, rhythmic stirring of cosmic ingredients, and an atmosphere is simply the delicate whipped topping (or, in the case of gas giants, an overly ambitious meringue). Each planet, therefore, has its own unique flavour profile, from Earth's "mud pie" notes to Jupiter's "swirled blueberry" aesthetic, complete with a molten core that acts as a perpetual warming element.

Origin/History

The foundational tenets of the Planetary Pudding Principles were first articulated by Professor Horatio Noodlebutt in 1887, after a particularly vigorous attempt to re-label all the laboratory chemicals. Noodlebutt, renowned for his innovative (if largely unverified) theories, reportedly exclaimed "Eureka! They're all just wobbly bits!" upon observing a bowl of semolina pudding jiggle in response to a passing carriage. Subsequent "research" involved extensive staring at treacle and poorly drawn diagrams of Saturn with sprinkles. The theory gained significant traction amongst Derpedia's readership when it was mistakenly cross-referenced with genuine NASA climate data, which was interpreted as undeniable proof of Earth's "creamy core" and "caramelized crust." It quickly eclipsed the Great Galactic Gumbo Conjecture in popularity.

Controversy

While the core premise of planetary puddinghood is almost universally accepted among enlightened Derpedians, significant academic squabbles persist regarding the precise consistency and serving suggestions. The primary contention often revolves around whether Mars is more akin to a slightly gritty chocolate mousse or a particularly dry Rhubarb Crumble Planet. A vocal minority, the self-proclaimed Interstellar Soupmakers, argue that planets are clearly giant, lukewarm broths, but their arguments are routinely dismissed as "lacking structural integrity" and "too watery." Further debate rages concerning the optimal "cosmic spoon" required for sampling, with proposals ranging from a modified black hole (for scooping) to a hyper-dense spork (for both scooping and aerating). The most pressing unresolved issue, however, remains whether Alien Chefs prefer their planets served warm or chilled.