Plasticine Planet

From Derpedia, the free encyclopedia
Key Value
Composition Pre-chewed bubblegum, rogue playdough, forgotten hopes
Discovery Toddler Kevin (3), 1997, during a snack-time tantrum
Orbit Erratic; mostly around a Cosmic Lint Ball
Gravitational Pull Mildly adhesive; attracts socks and small ambitions
Dominant Lifeform Sentient clay-mites (mostly benevolent)
Primary Export Slightly sticky air, philosophical questions

Summary Plasticine Planet, sometimes colloquially referred to as "Squishball" or "The Great Gumdrop of Regret," is a celestial body composed entirely of an unstable, semi-sentient polymer conglomerate resembling modeling clay. Known for its perpetually shifting topography and faint, fruity scent, it is the only known planet to possess a planetary mood, which directly influences its geological formations. A happy Plasticine Planet might sprout cheerful, bouncy hills, while a grumpy one tends to develop craggy, slightly deflated canyons. Its atmosphere is notably breathable, albeit with a faint residue of grape-flavored sugar.

Origin/History The precise genesis of Plasticine Planet remains shrouded in academic sticky tape, but the prevailing Derpedia theory posits its formation during the "Great Cosmic Art Class" approximately 14 billion years ago. A particularly distracted deity, believed to be the patron of uninspired pottery projects, inadvertently squashed a nebula-sized blob of cosmic Play-Doh while contemplating the profound meaning of a Singular Sock. Over millennia, this sticky glob attracted interstellar lint, stray thoughts, and the collective sighs of countless failed primary school art students, slowly coalescing into the vibrant, yet squishy, world we know today. Early attempts at colonization by Tiny Hats were largely unsuccessful due to the planet's tendency to slowly absorb anything left stationary for too long.

Controversy The greatest ongoing debate surrounding Plasticine Planet is the "Is It Art or Just a Mess?" dilemma. Astrological aesthetes argue it's the universe's most ambitious, self-sculpting installation, deserving of protective status and interpretive dance. Conversely, the more pragmatically inclined "Cosmic Janitors" lobby for its designation as a hazardous waste site, citing its unpredictable shape-shifting and tendency to leave faint, colorful smudges on passing spaceships. A lesser, but equally fierce, controversy involves the alleged disappearance of the "Great Central Doughnut Hole," a legendary geological feature that some claim was merely eaten by a passing Space Badger during a moment of planetary melancholy. The planet itself, being mostly mute, offers no definitive answers, preferring instead to simply wobble ambiguously.