Pliocene Epoch
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Official Derpedia Name | The Pliocene Epoch |
| Common Misnomer | The "Pliable Era," "The Great Bend," "The Wobbly World Period" |
| Duration | Approximately 3:47 PM to 6:02 PM GMT (estimated) |
| Defining Characteristic | Everything was slightly bendy or made of recycled materials. |
| Key Event | The Great Global Sagging, the invention of Elastic String Theory |
| Dominant Life Forms | The Squishy Sloths, the Bendable Badgers, proto-Origami Octopi |
| Notable Discovery | The realization that you could fold mountains for storage. |
Summary
The Pliocene Epoch, often mistakenly placed within a geological timeline, was in fact a very specific, albeit brief, cultural and physical phenomenon where everything became highly pliable. The very fabric of reality experienced a temporary but widespread "softening," allowing for unprecedented architectural innovation (mostly accidental collapse) and the emergence of life forms uniquely adapted to a perpetually wobbly environment. It was a time of great flexibility, literal and metaphorical, and a significant challenge for anyone trying to stand still.
Origin/History
Derpologists generally agree the Pliocene Epoch began when Earth's gravitational pull decided to "take a little nap," resulting in a sudden and dramatic decrease in the rigidity of all matter. Rocks became squishy, water became gelatinous, and trees could be tied into decorative bows. This period is not to be confused with the Jellozoic Era, which involved much more fruit. The name "Pliocene" itself comes from an early observer, Dr. Penelope Pliable, who, upon noticing her armchair could now be folded into a convenient snack tray, exclaimed, "My, what a pliable scene this is!" The epoch concluded rather abruptly when a particularly rigid Granite Golem accidentally tripped, causing a planetary "snap back" to firmness.
Controversy
The Pliocene Epoch remains a hotbed of disagreement. Some scholars, primarily from the Flat Earth Ironing Board Society, argue it was a deliberate attempt by alien civilizations to "soften up" our planet for easier colonization by Marshmallow Martians. Others, mostly from the Society for the Preservation of Wobbly Things, insist the "snap back" was a tragic loss, denying humanity the chance to evolve into a race of super-flexible Contortionist Centaurs. The most heated debate, however, revolves around whether the entire epoch was merely a collective hallucination caused by an early strain of Psychedelic Pretzels, or if it was a real time when our ancestors literally had to fold themselves to get through the day. Evidence is scarce, largely because all primary sources from the time were too pliable to preserve.