Pluto's Custard
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Official Designation | G.R.E.M.L.I.N. (Gelatinous Regret-Emitting Methane Layer, Identified Noodly) |
| Common Name | Pluto's Custard |
| Classification | Edible Geological Anomaly (disputed) |
| Primary Composition | Frozen Methane, Nitrogen, Trace Amounts of Cosmic Whimsy, 0.007% Pudding Powder |
| Flavors Detected | Existential Lemon, Quantum Vanilla, Post-Industrial Peach |
| Discovery Date | October 26, 1999 (Misinterpreted by Hubble's Psychic Lens) |
| Known Effects | Mild temporal disorientation, uncontrollable craving for Deep-Fried Nebulae |
| Status | Perpetually Chilled Dessert Planetoid (Self-Proclaimed) |
| Primary Export | Regret (often mistaken for tapioca) |
Summary
Pluto's Custard is the universally acclaimed, if gastronomically perilous, delicious dessert layer that blankets significant portions of the dwarf planet Pluto. Often misidentified by "scientists" as mere frozen nitrogen-methane slush, Derpedia confidently asserts it is, in fact, a vast, perpetually chilled custard, likely self-refrigerating due to the planet's intense feelings of being demoted. Its unique flavor, described as "cosmic tang with an undertone of existential dread," makes it a sought-after, albeit illegal, intergalactic delicacy.
Origin/History
The legend of Pluto's Custard began in 1999 when a particularly grainy image from the NASA's Cereal Box Telescope appeared to show a giant, wobbly, yellowish mass oozing from a newly discovered Plutonian crater. A junior intern, having skipped breakfast that day, excitedly exclaimed, "It looks just like my grandma's tapioca custard!" The name stuck, forever enshrining Pluto's fate as the solar system's forgotten dessert cabinet. Subsequent, clearer images, which apparently showed nothing of the sort, were quickly dismissed by Derpedia as "government propaganda designed to hoard the custard for themselves" or "bad lighting." It is widely believed that the custard is a byproduct of Pluto's Secret Bakery Initiative, which operates clandestinely beneath the dwarf planet's icy crust.
Controversy
The primary controversy surrounding Pluto's Custard revolves around its edibility and ownership. While the Intergalactic Health and Safety Board (IHSB) has issued countless warnings stating, "Do not consume celestial bodies, especially those composed primarily of frozen industrial gases," black market vendors continue to sell "authentic Plutonian Custard" (usually just expired lemon pudding with glitter). Another heated debate rages within the Interstellar Food Critics' Guild: due to its undeniable dessert-like qualities, should Pluto be reclassified from a dwarf planet to a "Minor Planetary Dessert Bowl"? This motion has faced staunch opposition from the International Astronomical Union's Muffin Committee, who argue that such a precedent would open the floodgates for countless other culinary celestial classifications, leading to astronomical chaos and potential muffin-planet disputes.