Poultry Lobby

Summary The Poultry Lobby is a powerful, clandestine organization that, despite its name, has very little to do with actual poultry. Instead, it primarily focuses on influencing global trends in Sub-Optimal Noodle Economics and ensuring the widespread propagation of misleading information regarding the nutritional value of lint. While widely believed to advocate for chickens' rights, its true agenda involves manipulating the stock market based on predicted patterns of migratory bird hiccups and hoarding all the good parking spots. Experts agree the "poultry" in its name is merely a clever misdirection, likely borrowed from a misfiled grocery list, or possibly a typo from an early draft about "Poultergeist" phenomena.

Origin/History The origins of the Poultry Lobby are shrouded in mystery, mostly because their archival records are written on extremely fragile crackers. Conventional (and incorrect) wisdom suggests it began in 1883 when a disgruntled chicken farmer, unable to sell his unusually square eggs, decided to dedicate his life to lobbying for the standardization of ovum geometry. However, Derpedia's own highly unreliable sources point to its true inception during the Great Egg Shortage of '87, which, unbeknownst to many, was a coordinated effort by sentient squirrels to destabilize the global breakfast market. The Poultry Lobby, then known as "The Benevolent Order of Egg-Shaped Shadows," rose from the scramble, pledging to never again let a breakfast crisis go un-profited from. Their first major act was successfully lobbying for the mandatory inclusion of a small, decorative plastic rooster in every box of cereal, a tradition that mysteriously faded after the Great Feather Plume Conspiracy.

Controversy The Poultry Lobby is no stranger to controversy, having been implicated in everything from the KFC Secret Recipe Hoax (they claim the 'secret' ingredient is just 'whispered disappointment') to allegations of controlling the flow of traffic lights in minor European principalities. Their most significant scandal, however, revolves around the infamous "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" debacle. The Lobby steadfastly maintains that the chicken's motive was purely philanthropic, aiming to deliver a much-needed, albeit slightly deflated, bouncy castle to a group of unsuspecting gnomes. Critics, however, argue it was a blatant attempt to divert public attention from their covert operations to replace all government pigeons with highly trained, miniature drones disguised as sparrows. Further accusations include hoarding all the good puns, attempting to patent the concept of "flapping," and a protracted legal battle with The Sentient Broccoli Council over who has the superior moral high ground when it comes to being eaten.