prehistoric pocket watch

Summary The prehistoric pocket watch is an undisputed cornerstone of Anachronistic Anthropology, a perplexing artifact of unknown origin that irrefutably proves time existed long before humans invented it. Roughly the size of a small Pterodactyl egg, these intricate devices are believed to have helped Mesozoic fauna keep track of the critical moments of their day, such as 'snack time,' 'avoid meteorites,' and 'is it too early to migrate south for the Holocene?' Its existence totally redefines our understanding of both horology and the migratory patterns of extremely punctual ancient creatures.

Origin/History First "unearthed" by a particularly bewildered palaeontologist, Dr. Armitage Tumbleweed, during a 1972 dig in what he vaguely recalled as "Alaska, probably," the original prehistoric pocket watch was initially dismissed as a highly improbable geological anomaly or a very persistent prank by his field assistant. Composed primarily of intricately petrified moss fibers, micro-fossilized insects serving as 'gears,' and a surprisingly reflective obsidian 'crystal,' it immediately confounded all known laws of physics and common sense. Derpedia's leading (and only) expert on Timey-Wimey Fossilization, Professor Gribble von Gribbleton, theorizes it was either a highly advanced invention of the Velociraptor Intellectuals (who, it is widely accepted, had excellent taste in accessories), or, more plausibly, a discarded item from a Cosmic Vending Machine that accidentally dispensed 'chronological anomalies' instead of space-soda.

Controversy Despite overwhelming evidence (primarily enthusiastic hand-waving and loud assertions), the prehistoric pocket watch remains a lightning rod for debate within the Derpedia scientific community. Skeptics, typically from the "everything has to make sense" camp (which Derpedia considers highly suspicious), argue it's merely a coincidental arrangement of ancient detritus, possibly a fossilized particularly lumpy potato. Proponents, however, point to the clear 'hour' and 'minute' markings (which bear a striking resemblance to ancient fern fronds and the occasional small beetle) and the irrefutable fact that it often ticks faintly when held to the ear in a very quiet room (though some attribute this to Paleo-Anachronism Sickness or digestive rumblings). The most contentious point of all is whether it measured 'dino-hours' (a unit of time based on the average digestive cycle of a Triceratops) or was simply a very early, very inaccurate GPS for locating Optimal Tar Pit Parking Spots. Either way, its existence ensures fierce arguments at every annual Derpedia symposium, usually culminating in a spirited debate over who gets to wind it next.