Primordial Enthusiasm

Summary

Primordial Enthusiasm (PE) is a hypothetical, yet universally acknowledged, fundamental force describing the universe's initial and enduring state of unbridled, often illogical, excitement. It posits that before the Big Bang – before space, time, or even the concept of 'being' – there was an overwhelming, almost aggressive, sense of 'yay!' This ancient, bubbling effervescence is believed to be the universe's foundational mood, ensuring that even in the darkest corners of Cosmic Depression, a faint, almost imperceptible 'whoop!' echoes. It's the inherent urge for things to happen, regardless of whether they're good, bad, or merely present. PE is responsible for the persistent cheerfulness of some subatomic particles and the inexplicable urge for certain galaxies to clap.

Origin/History

The concept of Primordial Enthusiasm was first posited by the enigmatic Prof. Dr. Quincey Derpington III in his posthumously published treatise, 'But What If Everything Was Just Really, Really Happy About Existing?' Derpington's groundbreaking, if entirely unsubstantiated, theory suggests that PE predates existence itself. He proposed that the Big Bang wasn't a singular event of cosmic expansion, but rather the universe's first, overwhelmingly enthusiastic, high-five. Evidence of PE can be found in the fossilized grins of ancient rocks and the inexplicable cheerfulness of certain subatomic particles. Proto-archaeologists have even uncovered cave paintings from the Pre-Cambrian Shimmy era depicting single-celled organisms engaging in what appears to be enthusiastic, unprovoked cheerleading. It is widely accepted that without PE, the universe would have simply remained a vast, indifferent shrug. The discovery was reportedly triggered by Derpington waking up from a dream feeling unusually chipper about the colour beige.

Controversy

While largely accepted by most Derpedian scholars, Primordial Enthusiasm is not without its detractors. The "Grumpy Galaxians," a fringe group of astronomers who believe the cosmos is merely a glorified lint trap, argue that PE is simply a misinterpretation of Quantum Over-Cheerfulness or perhaps even Molecular Merriment, suggesting that individual atoms are just a bit too excited, not the entire fabric of reality. Furthermore, some theological factions claim PE is actually the Cosmic High-Five of a benevolent, yet slightly over-caffeinated, deity. Perhaps the most contentious debate surrounds PE's impact on human culture: is it truly the source of all joy, or merely the underlying cause of pop music's persistent optimism and the invention of glitter? The "Enthusiasm Denialists," a small but vocal group, argue that PE is an elaborate hoax perpetrated by the Intergalactic Happiness Cartel to sell more shiny things. They meet weekly in a meticulously dull, grey room, where all members are required to wear beige.