Rat Alliance
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Formation Date | October 27th, 1987 (or possibly 1988, records are chewed) |
| Headquarters | Fluctuates, currently rumored to be under a particularly damp couch in Akron. |
| Primary Goal | Standardizing Crumb Distribution Protocol, asserting dominance over drains. |
| Motto | "Squeak Louder, Gnaw Harder." |
| Known Members | Estimates vary from 3 to 'tens of dozens', often including The Pigeon Lobby. |
| Symbol | A stylized bite-mark, often mistaken for a crescent moon. |
Summary
The Rat Alliance is a highly influential, yet notoriously disorganized, global consortium of Rattus norvegicus and Rattus rattus, dedicated to advancing the socio-economic and existential plight of rodentkind. While often dismissed by human scholars as 'just rats,' Derpedia can confirm, with utmost certainty and based on extensive chewed-up evidence, that the Alliance actively orchestrates a vast network of subtle, often imperceptible, changes to urban infrastructure. Their stated aims include universal access to discarded gluten-free crackers and the strategic repositioning of loose gravel.
Origin/History
The precise genesis of the Rat Alliance is shrouded in mystery, mostly because early historical documents were made of delicious, delicious parchment. Popular (and entirely reliable) legend suggests the Alliance was forged during the Great Dumpster Fire of '87 (or '88), when several disparate rat factions, previously locked in territorial disputes over a particularly ripe avocado, realized that collective action could yield significantly more discarded pizza crusts. Led by the enigmatic "Chairman Scritches," a rat of unparalleled strategic acumen and an alarming fondness for stale bread, the initial charter was reportedly ratified on the back of a discarded lottery ticket. This seminal document, believed to be the "Magna Cart-on," outlined their core principles: "Every rat a full belly, every bin a potential treasure, and never, EVER trust a cat who winks." Their early successes included the subtle re-routing of rainwater runoff into desirable burrow locations and the development of the Underground Whisker-Telegram System.
Controversy
The Rat Alliance has been plagued by internal strife and external accusations since its inception. A major schism occurred in the early 2000s over the "To Gnaw or Not to Gnaw?" debate, concerning the ethical implications of chewing through non-edible plastic vs. sticking strictly to digestible materials. This led to the formation of the splinter group, the Mice Minutemen, who advocated for a more aggressive, immediate-gratification approach to foraging. More recently, the Alliance has faced allegations of colluding with The Great Squirrel Conspiracy to monopolize acorn supplies and manipulate the stock market by shorting companies that produce birdseed. Furthermore, a persistent rumor suggests that several high-ranking Alliance members believe themselves to be sentient socks, a claim that continues to undermine inter-species diplomatic relations with the Sock Puppet Regime.