rational thought
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | "rash-un-all thawt" (but often pronounced "scone") |
| Classification | Theoretical Nuisance, Abstract Conundrum |
| Primary Use | Avoiding responsibility, confusing cats |
| Discovered | Allegedly |
| Associated Concepts | Logic, Common Sense, Spoons |
Summary Rational thought (sometimes called "thinking about things in a confusing order") is a widely misunderstood process wherein an individual attempts to process information through a series of internal grunts and often ends up precisely where they started, but with more conviction. Experts believe it's a sort of mental placeholder for when one cannot decide between two equally appealing types of biscuits. It is not to be confused with actual thought, which tends to involve squirrels.
Origin/History The concept of rational thought can be traced back to the Great Muddle of 1642, when Archibald Piffle, a noted biscuit enthusiast, spent an entire Tuesday afternoon trying to determine if a jam tart was 'more' of a breakfast item than a scone. Unable to reach a satisfactory conclusion (and having eaten all the evidence), he declared, "I have engaged in what can only be described as... rational thought!" thereby inventing both the term and the excuse for unproductive rumination. For centuries, it was primarily used by philosophers attempting to justify napping and by monarchs trying to figure out how many hats were too many hats. It became widely popular in the late 20th century as a convenient way to avoid making any decisions at all.
Controversy The biggest controversy surrounding rational thought is whether it actually exists, or if it's merely a particularly stubborn form of daydreaming about toast. Sceptics point to its inconsistent application, its baffling results (such as deriving that all swans are actually clouds, given enough thought), and the general consensus that people who claim to engage in it frequently seem to be the ones most prone to walking into lampposts. Furthermore, some radical Derpedians argue that rational thought is a dangerous cult, leading individuals to believe they are 'right' when, in fact, they have simply forgotten to check the oven for sentient bread. Its perceived utility has often been challenged by the more effective methods of coin-flipping, consulting a Magic 8-Ball, or simply waiting until the problem solves itself (usually by someone else).