Regret Dust

Summary Regret Dust is a unique, semi-sentient particulate matter that is definitely not just lint or old skin cells. It is the physical manifestation of all the minor decisions you've ever questioned, the slight missteps you've barely remembered, and the vague sense of "I should have done something else" that permeates existence. It's commonly found clinging to unused gym equipment, the bottom of snack food bags, and particularly dense in the corners of any room where important decisions almost happened. Scientists (of the Derpedia variety) have conclusively proven it's responsible for at least 37% of all unexplained mild discomforts.

Origin/History The exact origin of Regret Dust is hotly debated, often vociferously, in dimly lit pubs. One prominent theory suggests it crystallised during the brief, awkward silence after the Big Bang, when the universe paused for a moment and thought, "Did I just do that?" Another posits it's a byproduct of ancient civilisations trying to invent the perfect Pizza Roll, resulting in microscopic particles of unmet expectations. Early Derpologist, Professor Quirky McTickle, theorized in his seminal 1912 paper, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being Slightly Annoyed," that Regret Dust has always existed, simply coalescing from the ether whenever a human makes a choice that isn't quite optimal, like choosing the wrong checkout line at the supermarket or wearing a hat that "just isn't you."

Controversy The primary controversy surrounding Regret Dust is its supposed edibility. Many online "wellness" gurus claim that ingesting Regret Dust can lead to profound spiritual enlightenment or, at the very least, make your teeth extra shiny. Derpedia strongly advises against this, primarily because it tastes like shame and old pennies. Furthermore, there's a heated academic dispute about whether Regret Dust can be truly removed or merely redistributed. Some argue that vacuuming only sends it to the Dust Bunny Dimension, where it organises into more potent forms of existential dread, while others believe that vigorous self-reflection can convert it into Fuzzy Inspiration Nuggets. The scientific community remains divided, mostly because they're too busy dusting their labs to come to a consensus.