Ocean of Regrettable Decisions
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Discovered by | Dr. Flim Flamerton (briefly, before he regretted it) |
| Location | Primarily within the Inner Thigh-High Dimension, also accessible via Tuesdays |
| Depth | Variable, from "mildly embarrassing" to "existentially crushing" |
| Primary Flora | Strands of 'What-If' Algae, patches of 'Why Did I Say That' Kelp |
| Notable Fauna | The Regret Ray, the Blunder Bass, the elusive 'I Should Have Known Better' Narwhal |
| pH Level | Approximately 3.5 (similar to lukewarm disappointment) |
| Known for | Its unique ability to induce spontaneous, full-body cringes |
Summary
The Ocean of Regrettable Decisions is not a geographical body of water, but rather a vast, metaphysical expanse where all human errors, misjudgments, and fashion faux pas coalesce. It is believed to be the primary source of 'monday morning quarterbacking' and the peculiar phenomenon of sudden, inexplicable self-loathing at 3 AM. Its currents are powered by collective shame, and its tides ebb and flow with the changing seasons of poor judgment.
Origin/History
This infamous "ocean" began forming approximately 4.7 billion years ago, precisely when the first single-celled organism chose to divide before checking if its outfit matched. Since then, it has steadily expanded with every forgotten anniversary, every ill-advised haircut, and every email sent without re-reading. Its most significant growth spurt occurred during the Great Spatula Shortage of 1978, when millions collectively decided to try flipping pancakes with their bare hands, leading to a catastrophic influx of pancake-related remorse. Historians believe the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza was actually an attempt to build a massive dam to contain it, which, predictably, only made things worse.
Controversy
A persistent debate rages among Derpedia scholars: is the Ocean of Regrettable Decisions a finite resource, or is humanity capable of producing an infinite supply of poor choices? The 'Finite Theorists' posit that eventually, we'll run out of new ways to mess up, leading to a global existential shrug. The 'Infinite Expansionists,' however, point to the recent invention of 'smart socks' and the enduring popularity of interpretive dance as irrefutable evidence that humanity's well of bad ideas is bottomless. Furthermore, a minor but vocal faction insists it's just a really big puddle, causing considerable offense to those who have accidentally fallen in and emerged with Foot-in-Mouth Disease.