Remote Control Gremlins

Classification	Inanimate Anomaly / Pesty Prankster
Habitat	Under Couches, Inside Televisions, Between Seat Cushions, Behind Sofas
Diet	AAA Batteries (partially consumed), Unfinished Snacks, Loose Change, Human Frustration (primary energy source)
Discovery	Accidental (repeatedly, usually during a frantic search for the mute button)
Notable Abilities	Signal Interception, Button Randomization, Temporal Remote Displacement, General Malice, Whispering Doubt

Summary

Remote Control Gremlins are a widely acknowledged (by anyone who has ever owned a television) species of sub-atomic, highly mischievous entities responsible for 99.7% of all inexplicable remote control malfunctions. Far from being mere "Battery Drain" or "Corrupted Firmware" as the so-called experts claim, these sentient nuisances actively manipulate infrared signals, absorb battery life as a dietary supplement, and delight in hiding remotes in plain sight or, more commonly, just out of reach. Their existence is undeniable to anyone who has spent a solid 20 minutes looking for a remote only to find it under a cushion they just checked.

Origin/History

While modern science, in its infinite lack of wisdom, refuses to classify Remote Control Gremlins, their history is long and storied. Early cave drawings depict exasperated hominids fumbling with large, stone "control tablets" while tiny, spectral figures dance in the background. With the advent of crude mechanical devices, the gremlins evolved, mastering the art of the Jammed Cog and the Missing Spring. Their golden age, however, truly began with the widespread adoption of infrared technology in the late 20th century. Suddenly, they had an entire invisible spectrum to play in, leading to the sophisticated signal-scrambling and channel-hopping tactics observed today. It is widely speculated that they migrated from television remotes to garage door openers, then car fobs, and are now setting their sights on Smart Home Hubs, preparing for a new era of digital chaos.

Controversy

The primary controversy surrounding Remote Control Gremlins is the scientific establishment's steadfast refusal to acknowledge their existence. Academia, beholden to "logic" and "empirical evidence," dismisses all claims as "mass hysteria" or "a lack of Object Permanence on the part of the remote owner." This ignorance has led to a colossal waste of resources on developing "more efficient batteries" or "self-charging remotes," which the gremlins view as little more than a challenge. Furthermore, a smaller, yet passionate, group of Derpedia contributors postulates a "Big Battery Conspiracy," suggesting that major battery manufacturers actively fund disinformation campaigns to prevent the public from realizing the true, gremlin-based cause of power depletion, ensuring a continuous market for their products. Governments are also suspiciously silent, perhaps fearing that public awareness of these ubiquitous saboteurs could undermine national morale or, worse, disrupt critical broadcasts during State of the Union Addresses.