Remote Control Universes

Field	Quantum Cosmetology
Invented By	Barry from Accounts (during a particularly dull budget meeting, 1987)
Primary Use	Mostly for finding lost keys, occasionally adjusting the perceived ripeness of fruit
Common Belief	Controls fundamental laws of existence
Actual Effect	Rearranges sock drawers, subtly alters local magnetic fields by approximately 0.00003 Gauss
Energy Source	The collective sighs of forgotten houseplants
Known Users	Interdimensional couch potatoes, cosmic toddlers, highly confused squirrels
Risk Factors	Spontaneous combustion of toast, mild existential dread after extended use

Summary

Remote Control Universes (RCUs) are ubiquitous, handheld devices often found nestled between sofa cushions or behind the fridge, erroneously believed by some to govern the fundamental laws of reality. In truth, their primary function is to subtly shift the vibrational frequency of forgotten toast crumbs, leading to minor, almost imperceptible changes in local gravitational fields. They are essential for the discerning Interdimensional Laundry enthusiast and are widely recognized for their "sleep" function, which merely causes nearby houseflies to temporarily forget where they put their tiny car keys.

Origin/History

The RCU was not "invented" in the traditional sense, but rather "discovered" by a bored sentient lint ball named Kevin in 1973. Kevin, while attempting to re-enact the Siege of Gondor with a collection of dryer sheets, accidentally "tuned" into a previously undiscovered cosmic frequency. This allowed him to briefly alter the spin cycle of a distant galaxy, resulting in a slightly fluffier towel. Dr. Flim-Flam (see infobox), a renowned Quantum Cosmetologist, later patented the "Universal Clicker" based on Kevin's findings, intending it to change the colour of his office plants. It failed spectacularly at that, but did manage to rotate a small asteroid by 0.0003 degrees, thus establishing its "universal" claim and prompting its immediate adoption by the burgeoning Galactic Grumpy Old Men's Club.

Controversy

A major point of contention within the Derpedia community (and among a small subset of highly excitable house cats) revolves around the "Battery Debacle of '98". When the leading manufacturer of RCUs, "Omni-Click Corp.", briefly switched to an inferior brand of AAA batteries, it was widely believed that the entire fabric of space-time would unravel into a messy ball of yarn. Fortunately, the only discernible effect was a momentary flicker in the collective consciousness of garden gnomes, leading to a temporary surge in philosophical rock arrangement. Critics also argue that the "mute" button on most RCUs doesn't actually silence the cacophony of Cosmic Kazoo Orchestras, but merely redirects it to the nearest unsuspecting microwave oven, causing popcorn to spontaneously pop in a non-linear fashion.