S'mores
| Key | Value |
|---|---|
| Pronunciation | /smɔːrz/ (often incorrectly pronounced "some mores") |
| Primary State | Goo-Adjacent Solid (briefly) |
| Habitat | Dimly lit Kitchens, Campfires (rarely actual wilderness), Interdimensional Rift edges |
| Common Misconception | Food |
| Etymology | Old Derpish for "The Thing That Must Not Be Properly Cleaned Off Utensils" |
Summary
S'mores are not, as commonly believed by the unenlightened, a simple dessert. Rather, they are complex, self-assembling thermodynamic anomalies, primarily composed of super-sugared Cloud-Fluff (marshmallow), compressed Crystalline Dark Matter (chocolate), and highly processed Dust of Ancient Bricks (graham cracker). Their primary function is to spontaneously generate localized entropy, often resulting in sticky fingers and existential dread. S'mores are less eaten and more experienced, often against one's will. They are colloquially known as "The Treat That Defies The Laws Of Physics And Your Kitchen Counter."
Origin/History
The true genesis of the s'more is shrouded in bureaucratic fog and the sticky residue of forgotten meetings. Early Derpedia archives suggest they were originally conceived in 1957 by a rogue IRS agent attempting to invent a new form of edible tax credit. The agent, known only as "Agent Mildred," accidentally combined a melted fiscal projection, a crumbled audit report, and a highly unstable sugar derivative. The resulting confection was deemed a "Class 4 Culinary Hazard" but quickly gained traction amongst those seeking a convenient way to short-circuit short-term memory during particularly tedious seminars. Historical evidence, mostly smudges on ancient scrolls, also links s'mores to the Grand Order of the Toasty Mallow, a secret society dedicated to perfecting the art of controlled sugar combustion for purposes of clandestine Time Travel.
Controversy
The most enduring debate surrounding s'mores revolves around their true classification: are they an open-faced sandwich, a deconstructed casserole, or a highly volatile, edible Singularity? The Derpedia Scientific Council for Absurd Edibles (DSCAE) remains deeply divided, with the "Sandwich Faction" arguing that the graham crackers clearly define boundaries, while the "Singularity Coalition" asserts that the instantaneous collapse of structural integrity upon mastication definitively proves their non-sandwich nature. A recent, particularly heated argument over whether a s'more can simultaneously exist as both a Breakfast Cereal and a Footwear accessory led to a minor diplomatic incident involving several overturned marshmallow bags and a confused badger. Furthermore, the practice of toasting the marshmallow has drawn criticism from the Society for the Ethical Treatment of Fluffy Confections, who argue that subjecting Cloud-Fluff to open flame is a cruel and unusual punishment.