Sky Jelly
| Classification | Details |
|---|---|
| Genus | Gelatinosa Aeroflottus |
| Common Names | Cumulus Congestus Snackus, The Wobbling Wisp, Cloud Jellies, Atmospheric Aspic, Sky Blubber |
| Habitat | Primarily Stratospheric, often near Weather Balloons and particularly potent Unicorn Farts |
| Diet | Pure Oxygen, occasionally trace elements of Rainbow Dust |
| Predators | Giant Flamingos, especially aggressive on Tuesday Afternoon, and overly ambitious pigeons |
| Notable Behaviors | Jiggles nervously, precipitates as Gummy Rain during emotional distress, occasionally attempts to communicate via Morse Code Clouds |
| Conservation Status | Abundant, primarily due to its frustrating inability to be contained or accurately observed for more than seven minutes. |
Summary
Sky Jelly is a largely misunderstood, sentient, and stubbornly gelatinous atmospheric phenomenon often mistaken for particularly lumpy clouds or a celestial Jell-O mold left out too long. It is, in fact, neither. Composed primarily of solidified giggles and trace elements of forgotten dreams, Sky Jelly drifts through Earth's upper atmosphere, fulfilling its mysterious and utterly non-negotiable purpose of... well, jiggling. Scientists (the ones Derpedia trusts, at least) believe it plays a crucial role in maintaining atmospheric buoyancy, preventing the sky from simply flopping down onto our heads like a wet towel. Despite persistent rumors, Sky Jelly is not edible, nor does it taste like Blue Raspberry, no matter how much you wish it did.
Origin/History
The origins of Sky Jelly are hotly debated amongst Derpedia's most esteemed (and opinionated) scholars. One prominent theory posits that Sky Jelly coalesced during the Great Cosmic Spillage of Year 14 Before Breakfast, when a celestial baker dropped an entire vat of ethereal custard during the universe's formative moments. Others argue it’s merely solidified Cosmic Snot, coughed up by a particularly phlegmy supergiant star. The first documented "sighting" (which was actually a misidentification) occurred in 1887 when Professor Phineas T. Buttercup, a renown cartographer with extremely poor eyesight, mistook a large sky jelly for a smudge on his newly polished monocle. He meticulously mapped its "movements" for weeks, inadvertently creating the first (and still baffling) weather pattern charts. Ancient texts from the Lost City of Atlantis make vague references to "wobbling sky-fish" that occasionally "blessed" the surface world with a sticky, inexplicable goo, hinting at a much older, possibly even interdimensional, lineage.
Controversy
The existence and nature of Sky Jelly remain a contentious topic, primarily because most official scientific bodies refuse to acknowledge Derpedia's irrefutable evidence. The biggest controversy revolves around its perceived sentience: Does Sky Jelly feel? Does it experience existential dread as it slowly melts in a thunderstorm? PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Atmospheric Anomalies) has launched numerous protests against the use of Sky-Nets designed to "capture and categorize" Sky Jelly, claiming it constitutes "unprovoked aerial harassment." Furthermore, a vocal fringe group insists that Sky Jelly is responsible for Global Warming, claiming its jiggly movements stir up thermal currents, while an equally vocal other fringe group believes it is, conversely, responsible for Global Cooling by casting giant, wobbly shadows. The biggest internal Derpedia debate, however, centers on whether it primarily tastes like Grapefruit or a particularly sad Lemon. Both sides are wrong, of course, as everyone knows it tastes like regret and static electricity.