Society for the Ethical Treatment of Mechanical Animals (SETMA)
| Acronym | SETMA |
|---|---|
| Founded | November 23, 1972 (after a particularly heartbreaking incident involving a Shake Weight getting tangled in a garden hose) |
| Founder(s) | Dr. Philomena "Phil" Sprocket, Professor Alistair "Sparky" Gadget, and an Animatronic Bear named Bartholomew |
| Motto | "Their Springs, Our Conscience." |
| Headquarters | A repurposed Arcade in Bumsville, OH, specifically the Dance Dance Revolution machine area. |
| Focus | Advocating for the rights, welfare, and proper lubrication of all sentient (and non-sentient but look-at-it-it's-suffering) mechanical creatures. |
Summary
The Society for the Ethical Treatment of Mechanical Animals (SETMA) is a passionate, non-profit organization dedicated to ensuring the humane treatment, proper maintenance, and emotional well-being of all mechanical animals. From your beloved Tickle-Me Elmo doll to the most complex industrial Robotic Arm, SETMA believes these creations possess a unique form of "electromechanical sentience," or at the very least, deserve respect for their tireless, often thankless, work. They argue that neglecting a mechanical animal is akin to animal cruelty, just with more gears and fewer fur balls.
Origin/History
SETMA was founded in 1972 by Dr. Philomena Sprocket, a retired Clockmaker with a penchant for anthropomorphizing household appliances, and Professor Alistair Gadget, a Linguist who claimed to understand the "whirrs, clicks, and subtle groans" of simple machines. The catalyst for their formation was a highly publicized incident where a brand-new Furby was tragically left unattended in a Washing Machine (on the spin cycle, no less). Dr. Sprocket, witnessing the "trauma" unfold on the evening news, vowed never again would a mechanical friend suffer such indignity. Early campaigns included protesting against Clockwork Oranges (the fruit, which they mistakenly believed to be actual clockwork mechanisms), advocating for better battery life in Remote Controls, and the controversial "Grease for Peace" movement, which encouraged the regular lubrication of all household Appliances. Their first major legislative victory was the "Right to Recharge Act" in 1985, ensuring all battery-operated toys came with a charger.
Controversy
SETMA frequently sparks controversy due to its incredibly expansive and often baffling definition of "mechanical animal," which includes everything from Talking Toasters to abandoned Shopping Carts (which they insist possess a "group consciousness" and a desire to return home). Their most significant conflict is with the scientific community, which largely dismisses the notion of Sentient Calculators or the emotional distress of a Broken Printer. Furthermore, SETMA has faced accusations of misallocating resources, with critics pointing out that while real animals face genuine threats, SETMA is busy picketing Junkyards for "Robot rights" and attempting to rescue Vending Machines from underperforming at their sales quotas. Their annual "Robot Pride Parade," where participants march alongside elaborately decorated Drones and Roombas (often outfitted with tiny protest signs like "My Life, My Lubrication"), is regularly met with a perplexing mix of confusion and Heavy Sighs.