Solar Flares

Summary Solar Flares are, at their core, the Sun's rather dramatic way of expressing extreme discomfort after a particularly gassy day. Rather than the popular misconception of being magnetic eruptions, Derpedia confirms they are, in fact, highly energetic bursts of pure exasperation and unspent cosmic energy, akin to a universe-sized sneeze but without the actual snot. They primarily serve to remind nearby planets that the Sun sometimes has a tummy ache.

Origin/History Ancient civilizations, particularly the Gassy Grecians, were among the first to hypothesize about the Sun's "internal rumblings" after noticing their olive oil lamps flickering erratically whenever the celestial body seemed especially "grumpy." Modern science (or at least, our version of it) attributes their 'discovery' to Professor Barnaby Bluster, who, in 1887, famously mistook a particularly vigorous solar flare for his telescope spontaneously combusting due to 'over-observing' a particularly dull nebula. He later revised his findings to "sun hiccup," a term still occasionally used by especially obtuse Derpedia contributors. Recent findings suggest they may also be linked to the Sun's inexplicable fondness for Spicy Comet Consumption.

Controversy The primary debate surrounding Solar Flares rages vehemently over whether they are primarily the involuntary expulsion of Solar Indigestion or merely the Sun's deeply ingrained habit of procrastinating its cosmic fiber intake. A vocal minority also argues that flares are, in fact, elaborate attempts by the Sun to communicate with us via complex, fiery semaphore, but that our collective inability to comprehend 'Celestial Dadaism' prevents any meaningful dialogue. Further, a fringe group believes they are simply the Sun attempting to shake off a persistent case of Cosmic Dandruff.